


Doppler Effect

by JUBE514



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Anti Twin Au, Crack Treated Seriously, Don’t Try This At Home, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Félix and Adrien are not related, Gen, Humor, Lila Rossi Bashing, Tags to be added, They barely know each other, for fun, one shot at a time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26768269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JUBE514/pseuds/JUBE514
Summary: Félix knew, objectively, that the other boy who’s made his life hell went to the same school he did, but when two classes got combined for gym period he still wasn’t expecting to look up in the boys locker room and-Adrien Agreste, there, with his hands in his bag grabbing a spare shirt.Félix will admit, they do look similar.But it’s a knee-jerk reaction after dealing with all the shit Félix’s been handling since the debut of this asshole for his father's brand- Félix jumps back, points accusatory at Adrien’s face, and proclaims “You’re the asshole that has my face!”—Adrien Agreste and Félix Vanily aren’t related, not even a bit, but they look exactly like one another. This causes more than one problem.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Félix, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 65
Kudos: 501





	1. Mom, come get me, they have superhero’s here

Félix was, unfortunately, a male teenager in Paris who had blond hair and green eyes and was about the right height and about the right build and had that kind of face about him. He was unaware of the  _ reason _ that might be unfortunate until he was about thirteen, and the first person had accosted Félix on the street screaming a name that wasn’t his and grabbing at his wrist. 

Now, at sixteen, he was very  _ over  _ having his look-alikes face plastered all around the world. Girls would doubletake, and he hated getting used to having to look up at a name that didn’t belong to him- because sure enough those screaming fans would be all over him if he didn’t react fast enough at the warning signs. 

Félix  _ knew _ , objectively, that the other boy who’s made his life hell went to the same school he did, but when two classes got combined for gym period he still wasn’t expecting to look up in the boys locker room and- 

Adrien Agreste, there, with his hands in his bag grabbing a spare shirt. 

Félix will admit, they  _ do _ look similar. 

But it’s a knee-jerk reaction after dealing with all the shit Félix’s been handling since the debut of this asshole for his father's brand- Félix jumps back, points accusatory at Adrien’s face, and proclaims “ _ You’re the asshole that has my face! _ ” 

This of course, makes everyone in the locker room stop what they’re doing and look at the two. Instantly conversation breaks out, people comparing the two of them and remarking that  _ yes _ , the two of them  _ do _ look like identical twins, how weird! 

Félix grabs Adrien’s wrist, ignoring the irony of that whole statement, and yanks the other teen right out of the room so the two of them can have a  _ long _ overdue conversation without the company of their peers. Adrien goes without putting up a fight, being dragged behind Félix without complaint and only a vaguely confused expression on his face. There’s a surge of others who want to follow behind them but Félix takes care of the people moving to intervene with a  _ glare _ . 

The two teenagers are now standing outside of the locker room, looking at one another and taking in the sight of their mirror that is living and breathing and  _ not themselves. _

Félix speaks first- “You’ve made my life a living hell.” 

Adrien at least looks sheepish at that, wincing, “Oh man, I’m sorry.” He rubs the back of his head, actually having the  _ gall _ to look genuinely apologetic about it. “I knew you existed, I couldn’t  _ not _ with the rumors that sometimes pop up, but I- I don’t remember your name?” 

Well, Félix isn’t going to pretend that didn’t hurt a little bit, but he’s not going to get caught up in that statement. “Félix, my name is  _ Félix. _ ” 

It’s not a new speculation in the media, it crops up once every six or so months after the debut of Adrien’s modeling career. Somebody inevitably gets a view of Félix, who looks  _ exactly like _ Adrien in almost every way shape and form, and thinks to themselves ‘ _ they look to similar, they’ve got to be related _ ’ and since it’s easy to research and see that the Agreste family only had one child on record it's shocking and super fun for the tabloids to sneak pictures of Félix Graham de Vanily and make speculative stories about him being the secret love child of one parent or the other. 

Press has accosted Félix walking out of school, thinking he was Adren, Félix has been hunted down by mobs of people wanting a piece of something he couldn’t even give them.  _ Akumas _ , the damn horrible things, have come after him before- mistaking him for somebody he wasn’t. 

At work, at school, in the streets, Félix was  _ tired _ . 

He’s gotten official statements from the Agreste PR team, they thanked him for his professional handling of these kinds of things. They’ve given him money to not answer things, he’s gone to sessions with people who handle the media everyday and they told him that he’s remarkably good at giving the press nothing to work with.

Félix is now in the unique position that he’s face to face with Adrien Agreste himself, and finds that all those nasty scathing things he wanted to say disappear on his tongue. 

The two of them look similar, sure, but the thing that makes them stand out as  _ identical _ is the tired slope to both of their shoulders, the way the exhausted tilt of their eyes droop just a little farther down without the people watching them. 

Félix finds himself a man without a mission suddenly, all that anger he’s built up for ages flies away out from under his fingertips. 

“You don’t like all this shit either, do you?” Félix gestures to his own face, the heavy weight that looking like the brand name of posters all across Paris comes with. Just their fucking luck, just their  _ fucking luck _ . Both of them are miserable bastards, aren’t they? 

It would have been different if Adrien had liked the fame, had reveled in it, but the mirror that stands across from Félix looks just as strung out and tired of the bullshit as Félix himself does. 

Adrien smiles, “I refrain from commenting.” The smile is so very  _ fake _ that anybody with eyes would be able to see it. 

Félix looks away, aware that there’s just the two of them still in their day clothes and not ready for gym at all even though they’ve got to only have a minute or two of change-time left. 

What a position the two of them are in, totally of faults not their own. The two of them are  _ children _ who are wrapped up in bullshit that’s far beyond the scope they could ever handle. “Tell me the truth, before I kick your shins in, you don’t like all the attention any more than I do.” 

Adrien shakes his head. “I would trade it for anonymity in a heartbeat.” 

Félix sighs, deep and echoing in his chest. 

The purple butterfly that’s been fluttering on the windowsill of a skylight stops its movements for a moment, as if considering, before it gently turns in another direction without a sound. 

The two boys underneath it none the wiser. 

\--

They’re not  _ friends _ . 

Don’t mistake that. 

They’ll nod at each other in the halls, if they see the other from across the courtyard, but other than simple hello’s they don’t go out of their way to talk to one another. Sometimes Adrien will ask after Félix’s day, or sometimes Félix will wander over if Adrien looks particularly ragged and offer silent comfort before the bell rings. 

They don’t hang out after school, they’re in different classes, they run in different circles altogether. 

They’re not  _ friends _ . 

So it’s a surprise when Adrien hands over a ticket for a fashion show about halfway through the year. 

“I received one too many-” He’s doing that thing where he puts his hand behind his head and his shoulders are pulled around his ears, “I was going to give it to a girl but- I- she already had one.” 

“Really?” Félix takes the ticket, glancing over the seat- a great one if he’s reading it right- and the time of the show. There’s a glaringly printed ‘ _ not for resale’  _ across the top. “What girl has caught your eye  _ and  _ already had a ticket for a show that’s notoriously going to be hard to get into?”    
  
Adrien blushes to his eyebrows, his shoulders jack up a little higher in embarrassment. Félix has learned that Adrien is surprisingly hard to pull information from when Adrien doesn’t want to share any, so Félix doesn’t ask and thanks him for the ticket. 

He has nothing to do that day, all of his jobs are clear and don’t need any extra hands, so he puts on his nicest waistcoat and secures his tie tight against his throat. He checks his hair, making  _ sure _ it’s enough of a difference that people wouldn’t mistake him for Adrien if they took a good look at him. 

He goes to the show, the seat’s up near the front and the people who sit around him are the kinds of people it pays to bump elbows with and be nice to. He’s perfectly polite, and he’s full of smiles just on the edge of believable and Félix has three business cards at the time when  _ everything goes to shit _ . 

Adrien gets turned into  _ dust _ by the woman who’s screaming about firing people and being stylish and Félix just decides he might be better off  _ getting the hell out of dodge _ . 

The seat that Adrien’s given him is really nicely located near an exit, and it’s just convenient to sprint his lanky ass to a safer location. 

The people of Paris can sense an akuma at this point, the sirens go off not even thirty seconds into Félix’s sprint and people scatter into every direction. There’s not alot that one can do when an Akuma’s attacking, just hope to not get caught in the warpath. Everyone’s been swaddled into something at least once, Félix’s been one of the few unlucky bastards who’ve died during the attacks, just to gasp back to living life once the miraculous cure takes hold. 

Félix’s been dead a lot, actually, but it just takes a single cure to jumpstart everyone who's unlucky back into the world of the living. Sometimes the hero’s have some leftover time and can help those people back onto their feet, sometimes not. Félix’s been pulled up by all kinds of random citizens who happened to be too close. 

When Félix ducks behind a car, avoiding a sweeping glitter dust attack he tucks his head into his knees and prays that it won’t hit him. 

It’s only the high pitched disbelieving call of “ _ Adrien?” _ that makes him look up from his pathetically poor hiding place. 

Félix doesn’t scream, he’s too well reserved for that, but he  _ does _ take a swat at the black thing that hovers in the air four inches from his face. 

The thing doesn’t seem …  _ affected _ as Félix’s hand just passes right through it. It looks more annoyed than anything else, like Félix has just done something monumentally stupid by reacting to it’s being there. “You’re not Adrien.” It hiss-whispers, low and careful. “Though you do look like him.” 

“Are you a part of the Akuma?” Félix demands, furious and trying to retain as much dignity as possibly while getting away as  _ fast _ as possible when on one’s ass. It’s a losing game. “I swear to god-” 

“That would be  _ me _ , kid.” The black creature is holding something, it looks like a ring. “I’m the god that allows your hero,  _ child _ , and I have a very interesting proposition for you.”

Félix gets the feeling that he is very much out of his own depth here, on some  _ very _ thin ice, that’s not the voice of a thing that’s harmless, and  _ not _ the voice of a thing that won’t kill him. 

He thinks for a minute, unwilling to just jump into an agreement with something that’s claiming to be the  _ god _ that gave  _ Chat Noir _ his powers of  _ destruction.  _

“Don’t think for too long, child.” The thing’s smiling with it’s little sharp teeth, “This offer isn’t going to last forever.” 

Félix bites his lip, goes on his knees and looks over the hood of the car to see Ladybug alone with the akuma and no Chat Noir in sight. 

“I think I might know what you want to offer me, little god-” Félix says, trying to put the same inflection in his voice that this creature did when it called him a  _ child _ , “- and I know that it’s got to do with why you called me  _ Adrien _ .” 

—

Ladybug’s just about to go and call for help from Master Fu when Chat Noir shows up to the fight. 

“Thank  _ god!”  _ Ladybug screams, slinging her yo-yo to perch next to Chat Noir on a lower rung of the Eiffel Tower. She skids to a stop and uses him as a backboard to keep from just sliding right off again. 

Ladybug grabs onto his arm, pulling at him to follow her somewhere safer to regroup and strategize. “Chat we have to  _ go-  _ this akuma’s wicked. We’re gonna need a plan with this one.” 

Chat Noir, usually so responsive to her touch, reactive to her suggestions, just stares dumbfoundead. Is something wrong with him? Is that why it took him so long to get to the fight? Was he doing something that knocked him off balance-

“You two _ don’t normally have a plan?”  _

He said it like he didn’t normally just jump into the fight with his baton out rearing and ready to go. The high pitched crack of his voice at the end is something she hasn’t heard before either. Ladybug rears back, letting go of Chat’s elbow and taking a serious look at him. 

He  _ looks _ like Chat Noir, but his postures all wrong and stressed and- 

“Who’re you?” Ladybug demands, all kinds of emotions race through her chest, worry for her boy and anger that this isn’t him and exasperation that this is the fight he decides to pull this  _ shit.  _ He looks exactly the same, there’s always that soft blurry magical block when she tries to take in the finer details of his face but he’s got the shape and the form and his hair is the same- 

“I’m-“ Chat Noir takes a second, thinking, “I’m his twin.” He doesn’t sound  _ any _ kind of happy admitting that fact. “He got caught up in the attack, it took awhile for me to get his-“ he gestures with the hand that holds the ring, tapping it with the thumb on his same hand. 

Ladybug’s heart clenches, her chest tight with a sudden emotion that she can’t seem to place. Her Chatton, her kitten, caught up in this horrible Akuma’s glitter wash just like Adrien.  _ Both _ of her boys lives stolen away with careless power. 

She can’t cry here. 

She  _ refuses  _ to cry here. 

She blinks away tears from her eyes, letting out one desperate sob that clicks up her ribs when she releases it. 

Chat Noir- his  _ twin _ \- doesn’t reach out to offer her comfort like her chatton would, but he keeps his eyes down and allows Ladybug her moment of lament for her loss. 

“I’m sorry.” Ladybug says, wiping at her cheeks and tugging this new boy away from the Eiffel Tower at the same time. “I’m falling apart over him- but he’s your  _ brother _ . You saw- you saw your brother die-“ 

“People need to stop apologizing to me.” The twin says, following Ladybug off the tower with shaky legs and hesitation as he takes his leap. 

Ladybug turns as she leaps, as sure of herself in the air as on two flat feet on the ground. Her yo-yo goes through the akuma’s glittery indestructible body but it  _ does _ grab her attention. 

The Akuma- calling herself  _ Style Queen _ \- notices the two of them. The Akuma screams something at Chloé before jumping off the tower after them both. 

The chase is exhilarating, and it’s something to help Ladybug take her mind off the fact that she  _ needs _ to beat Style Queen- reset the world to the way it was before this Akuma had killed Adrien, had killed Chat Noir. 

She owes it to them both, and to this new boy she’s never met before who runs awkwardly beside her in Chat Noir’s skin. He’s the one who’s  _ related _ , probably saw it happen and could do nothing to help. He’s got more right to feel that kind of horrific devastation that racked through her own chest at the news. 

Chat- Chat  _ something _ , she can’t keep calling him Chat Noir even if he looks the exact same- dives into a small gap between buildings, just wide enough for his chest to squeeze through if he turns completely sideways. Ladybug follows him- the two of them are small enough to pass through without much trouble, but Style Queen’s a lot larger and won’t be able to make that same kind of maneuver. 

They break free of her sight, hearing the Akuma rage and scream behind them. 

—

The fight takes longer than normal, and it’s only because Félix gets in an abnormally lucky cataclysm that they even win at all. 

Ladybug’s limping away from the epicenter of it all when she throws her lucky charm, leaving Chat Noir with a four minute timer and a Chloé to calm down. 

She’s inconsolable, weeping into the chest of her best friend with her knees tucked under her chin and her arms wrapped around her own shoulders as if she squeezes hard enough then maybe someone might hug her for real. She looks pathetic with all her makeup smudged and gone from her sweat and her tears, clothes rucked up from the rough handling that didn’t get fixed because it wasn’t damaged, and not even having the coherence to pull understandable words together. 

Chloé’s  _ best friend _ is currently sitting on his ass on a floor of the Eiffel Tower, not saying anything but certainly making a face that if anybody was around to see would sink Adrien as being both the real functional Chat Noir and confused as hell. 

“Chloé, I’m going to need you to go down with your mother. Alright?” Félix triés, just to see if it might work. “I need you both to take the service elevator down to the bottom while I handle Adrien, okay?” 

Adrien, for the briefest seconds, panics. 

Oh yes. Well. Félix guesses panic is a reasonable reaction when you see yourself, then your doppelgänger tries to get itself alone with you. Adrien probably is guessing he’s some kind of Akuma or something. Adrien’s reaction is a flare, just flickering across his face long enough to be read, but it’s quickly masked by that fake model smile. 

“ _ Okay _ .” The sound breaks both boys out of their staring. Chloé moves, inhaling sharply and visibly pulling herself together. 

Chloé nods, just once, and she pulls on the mask she wears to make it to her mother. 

Adrien openly stares at Félix now. 

It takes a moment, but Chloé and her annoying mother finally make their way to their elevator doors. Chloé doesn’t even flinch when she has to manually pry the doors open, ushering her mother inside before closing the doors and heading down. 

Adrien waits a beat, before whipping his head around and pointing a very accusatory finger in Félix’s face. 

“ _ You _ ! Are not! Chat Noir!” 

Adrien looks so confused, wildly out of his own element and dressed in his father's high fashion and trying to muster up any kind of authority. 

Félix scoffs. 

“Of course not.” 

At the admission, Félix can see Adrien go mentally off balance for a moment. Akuma’s don’t admit that sort of shit- and the mask is magical not cosplay. 

The final warning beep occurs, fast and heart racing. 

Félix lets the timer run out. 

Doing nothing to stop Adrien from realizing that Félix did him a  _ massive _ favor today. 

When the green magical glamour fizzles out, Plagg nearly rips off Félixs finger, getting the ring back. Adrien gasps what night have been a name, might have been French, and might have been a curse, all at once. The dark silver infinity loop that was on Félix’s middle finger becomes Chat Noir’s iconic black in Plagg’s tiny hands, then a simple silver loop with a pressed oval in Adriens. 

That’s interesting, how the miraculous changes like that based on whose hands it’s in. 

“ _ Félix?”  _ Adrien’s confusion doesn’t go away, it just gets worse. Plagg’s disappeared into Adrien’s hair, falling into dark invisibility in the shadowy underside. 

“You were indisposed.” Félix sits down, exhausted, next to Adrien. The day hits him all at once and the energy it took to be a hero,  _ Chat Noir _ , makes his knees weak and his breath short. Félix is going to be  _ sore _ tomorrow, he’s already sore now from a few tougher landings. “Plagg thought you had somehow managed to escape when he saw me in the streets- he reacted before thinking and called your name.” 

“I shouldn’t have been  _ able _ to.” Plagg grumbles from where he’s hidden in Adrien’s hair. 

Adrien reaches up, threading his fingers through the underside and patting something Félix can’t see with his fingers. 

The two sit there, not saying anything. Félix wants to go to bed, not prepared for the physical exertion he’s done today. Ballet never needed him to jump off buildings to dodge a furious woman before. Adrien looks less physically strung out and more mentally. He’s had a rough day, Félix can understand. 

“Ladybug’s gonna kill me.” Adrien says, after a bit. Deadpan, not emotion or inflection in his words. “She said I couldn’t tell a soul who I was, not even her, and now a guy who I barely talk to knows.” 

That sentence processes in Félixs mind for a moment, just sitting there until it clicks. 

“You don’t know who Ladybug is.” It’s a good thing he’s sitting down or else Félix would have fallen. “You don’t know who Ladybug is and you’re  _ Chat fucking Noir?!” _

“Wow. Scream that for the whole world why don’t you?” Adrien doesn’t sound nice at  _ all _ . Félix’s never heard that tone from him before- Adrien is always careful to sound polite in public. 

“Who’s gonna hear us? We’re a hundred feet off the ground and everyone always avoids the Eiffel after an attack.” 

Adrien sighs, shoulders shagging. “Sorry- I didn’t mean to snap. I think I might need to calm down a little more.” 

Félix takes a huge inhale, he’s still trying to compartmentalize everything that’s happened in the past hour. It’s a task that’s not going very well. There’s a lot to take in. 

Félix isn’t very calm either. 

—

Everyone finishes the fashion show. 

There’s a lot of models wearing a lot of outfits- pretty faces with glittering clothes and slashes of makeup that make them all look deadly under the lights. 

Adrien’s one of them, he walks with confidence born from experience and his makeup changes seven times during the show. Adrien’s tall for his age but the adult models dwarf him when they stride by in shoes that might as well double as deadly weapons. Their clothes are a mix of wicked displays of power and shimmering wealth and great technical skill. 

Félix finds he can’t bring himself to smile at the people around him anymore. The crowd is much more subdued after the attack swept through them. Félix isn’t surprised, after Akuma’s everyone’s a little jumpy for a while, on high alert, before the lull sets in three days later and it happens all over again. 

Doesn’t stop Félix from making a good impression on the people around him. There’s always a benefit to having people have a positive impression of you. 

The show ends in a flourish of designers, telling everyone who designed what in this lavish viewing. The afterparty isn’t attended by Adrien’s class, nobody wanted to invite a bunch of children, but the man sitting directly beside Félix must have mistaken his age or just liked the way Félix has talked to him. 

There’s alcohol, fizzy and bright underneath the pulsating lights. There’s models that smoke cigarettes and lean against designers who want somebody beautiful to show off their ideas. The music’s loud but there’s more people making deals than dancing. 

Félix sips on something that fluorescences underneath the blacklights but has no alcohol. He’s already got two jobs he works after school but there’s a very nice designer here who’s offered another job in a high end tailor shop that Félix snatched up with a smile. 

There’s always another opportunity, and Félix isn’t going to let any slip by him. 

Another sip, the drink tastes like blueberry and limes. 

A hand grabs Félix’s wrist. 

Adrien, his makeup still like a slash across his eyes in bright green that flares up under the purple blue smoke. 

Adrien jerks his head and the two move out from the main hub of the afterparty and into a place they can speak both privately and at a normal volume. 

It’s a balcony that has nobody on it. The bite of winter is just creeping into the air and everyone’s downstairs enjoying the more comfortable indoors. There  _ are  _ a few of those outdoor glass fire pits that burn brightly against the encroaching night but besides from two bar attendants watching a football match on the outdoor TV there’s nobody up here but them. 

Adrien settles on a couch near a black glass fire, far away from the bar. 

Félix sets his drink down, clicking the expensive glass against the table. “Anything you want?” 

“Kir Royale.” Adrien says immediately, he’s leaning close to the fire because the wind chill cuts between the rooftops and all the models at the party aren’t dressed for the weather. “If they have any snacks, cheese.” 

Félix nods and sets off to cross the rooftop and grab them some drinks. 

It’s really beautiful up here, there’s deep stained reclaimed wood for the coffee tables intermingled with soft couches and chairs and vibrant greenery. Vintage lights are strung up along the overhead lattice, giving everyone and everything a warm glow as it gets steadily darker. 

The bar attendants perk up when Félix raps his knuckles against the wooden countertop. “Kir Royale and a Calvados please.” The two attendants give each other a significant look and the female one sighs and begins to make the drinks. Félix grabs a small serving plate and loads it with items from the charcuterie that’s presented very nicely on the table near the bar. 

The female attendant sees this, “You need any help?” 

“No thank you. I’ll be fine.”

The attendant nods, one member of the service industry to the other, and she goes back to her friend to watch the game. 

The flute is easy to carry with one finger, it’s the tasting glass that’s a little harder to balance. The plates on one hand and the two glasses in the other as Félix makes his way back. 

Adrien takes his glass before it even touches the table, “Thanks.” 

The Kir Royale is bright and vivid red with the firelight, the blackberries clink against each other like bottomless holes when Adrien takes a long sip. 

The green flare across his face and the dark black cat eye make the image that sits across from Félix a perfect advertisement for some high end product that’s based off of Paris’s hero’s. 

The apple cider that Félix sits down with is subtler, something more suited to him than the gaudiness around him. 

The platter of charcuterie is sat down close to Adrien’s knee, full of cheese and dried salami for them both. 

“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?” Adrien looks exhausted already from the discussion they haven’t had yet. 

“Undoubtedly, unfortunately.” Félix swirls the Calvados in his glass before taking a sip of his own. “Before you tell me again, like you did hundreds of time walking back to the show, I’m not going to tell a soul.” 

“I need you to swear on your own life you won’t even hint at what you know.” The cheese beside Adrien’s knee is a quarter gone. Félix has noticed  _ nothing _ \- Plagg is good. 

“I have nothing to gain and everything to loose. Your secrets are as safe with me as it is with you. I won’t tell anyone under pain of death.” Félix  _ won’t _ , he’s not about to ruin the lives of every single person in Paris. 

“You know you can’t get Akumatized now.” Adrien tells him, taking another sip from his Kir Royale. “Papillon roots through his victims heads- there’s no secret he can’t get out of your mind.” 

Oh. 

Oh that’s something Félix hasn’t even considered before. 

“I haven’t been an Akuma before.” Félix knows that it’s the weakest argument there is, but it’s the only one he has. 

“You can’t ever become one now.” Another sip, “I can’t either.” 

“You can be made into an Akuma?” This surprises Félix, “I thought-  _ everyone  _ thought- that the hero’s couldn’t be made into Akumas.” 

“Plagg says it doesn’t matter who we are or what special powers we have access to. If Papillon notices me get angry or irritated or…” Adrien trails off eyes going glazed as he thinks about all the emotions he’s not allowed to have anymore. “If he notices anything in my mental state he can take advantage of and decides I’m a good target I can only destroy the Akuma before it reaches me. If I get infected it’s all over.” 

“That’s horrifying.” Félix can’t even imagine what kind of stress Adrien’s been under lately. 

Everyone at school had always thought Adrien as near perfect, a holistically  _ good _ person who wouldn’t ever try and do anybody harm. Excelled in classes, extra curriculars, athletic, handsome, pure. Adrien never let his smile slip during class-  _ ever _ . Everyone sees the helpful and kind and supportive friend that graces them when he shows up and thanks them when he leaves. What kind of  _ mask  _ must Adrien wear every day of his life?

“Do- is this the first time you’ve talked about any of this?” Félix has to ask, devastatingly curious. 

Adrien doesn’t say anything, just takes another very pointed sip of his bright red spotted drink. 

—

  
  


Ladybug called the patrol. 

Adrien shows up right on time, never one to be late to an arrangement and never one to let his lady down. 

It’s been a day since an the Akuma attack, they don’t usually occur back to back like this. It’s once in a blue moon that they have to turn around and fight another one after Paris goes into high alert after an attack. Besides, Ladybug called this patrol about two hours ago- she had sent a message to Chat Noir asking him to arrive at exactly nine o’clock on the dot. 

Adrien, as Chat Noir, lands with practiced ease at the requested location. 

He’s early, by about four minutes, but Ladybug’s already there and waiting for him. 

Behind her, the river shines bright with the streetlights and reflects up so prettily in her dark hair. The cathedral’s old and historic but the very top of the left entranceway makes a great view when Ladybug’s filling his vision. 

“Chatton.” 

She’s smiling, and Adrien reacts to it as easy as he always does. He melts and does what normally can’t be done because of the normal circumstances they meet under. He kisses one cheek, then the other, and tries not the blush too badly as she copies the motion. The greeting is warm and welcome and it makes Chat Noir want to capture the moment forever. 

“Chatton I’m so glad you're okay.” She reaches up to gently hold his cheeks, careful. 

“Never better than when I’m with you.” He admits. 

Ladybug laughs, a little giggle of a sound as she lets go. “Oh I was so worried about you.” 

This causes some pause. “Worried? Whatever for?” 

Ladybug gets that little wrinkle between her brows, chewing on her bottom lip. “The other day- Style Queen- that wasn’t you.” 

Adrien’s blood turns to ice in his veins. 

“Ladybug I swear I never wanted to let him know.” The words break forth unbidden from Chat Noir’s chest. “I wanted to be the first one to know my identity be you, I wanted to fight by your side but the Akuma just came up and hit me. I couldn’t react. Thank god I wasn’t wearing my ring or else-“ 

Or else maybe Plagg wouldn’t have been able to help at all. 

Ladybug places a finger against his lips, silencing him. “Chatton I’m not mad.” 

Oh thank god. 

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a twin-“ 

What. 

“-but I would think it’s incredibly hard to keep a secret like this. I’m so thankful that you tried to keep my request about our identities for so long. I had no idea you had somebody that close to you-“ 

_ What.  _

“-and the only reason you had to let him know about this whole ‘superhero’ thing was because you got taken out of commission during the fight. I’m not mad at you, Chatton, I was  _ worried _ you got hurt as  _ you _ and not Chat Noir.” 

Adrien was an only child what was going on here. 

Did- did Félix tell Ladybug the two of them were  _ twins? _ What possessed him? 

“I heard from your twin- Backup Noir- that you were not able to make it and just I’ve been out of my mind with horrible scenarios I keep making up. I needed to know you were fine. I needed to see you with my own eyes.” Ladybug was still talking, but Chat Noir was too caught up on all kinds of things that didn’t make much sense to him. 

“I’m happy to allow my Lady to take all the looks she wants.” Thank god for Adrien’s ability to randomly talk bullshit with no higher brain function. 

Ladybug blushes a brilliant scarlet- almost the matching color of her suit- and punches him in the arm making an interesting sound of offended surprise. “Kitty! Not like that!” 

Chat Noir laughs, breathless and still trying to make sense of it. 

The thing that comes to his mind first is- “You call him  _ Backup Noir?”  _

Ladybug goes even  _ redder _ . 

—

Félix shows up for school like he always does, thirty minutes before the bell rings and munching on a morning breakfast bar as he finishes another book. He’s mentally going over the homework in his mind when he sees something break away from a group of people across the courtyard and make a  _ beeline _ for him. 

Félix looks up from the chapter just as Adrien gets right in his face. 

“Hello there,  _ twinsie! _ ” Adrien’s all smiles and bright bubbly tone, but something in the back do Félix’s mind is telling him he’s in danger. 

“Am I in trouble?” Félix asks, seriously. 

“No! Not at all!” Adrien's smile makes Félix not believe him. “Yesterday evening I had a  _ very interesting  _ conversation with a shared acquaintance of ours, she admitted some very intriguing things about the two of us I didn’t realize.” 

It clicks. Félix snaps his book shut. “I  _ am  _ in trouble.” 

“She thinks, now that you know, you’re going to be a more- ah-  _ active _ role in our part time job.” 

“I absolutely want nothing to do with it.” Félix admits. He’s done his Good Samaritan duty for the rest of his life as far as he’s concerned. No more skin tight leather suits and cat ears. He’s over it. He could barely  _ walk  _ the day after that fiasco. 

“That’s not up to me, is it?” Adrien’s smile is picture perfect- how the hell is it also the scariest thing Félix has ever seen? 

Adrien claps Félix on the shoulder, bright and exuberant as he loudly says “Welcome to the team, bro!” 


	2. do toy cats dream of robot mice?

“Why did you and  _ that guy _ run off this morning?” Is the first thing Nino asks when Adrien enters the classroom a minute till the bell. 

Adrien smiles, “Hm?” He’s grown up around people who’ve wanted him to say everything for the camera and he’s learned quick to let other people do the talking for you. It can make people think you’re a little slow, and a little obtuse, but it’s an invaluable method to let people just talk and talk. 

“Vanily!” Nino’s voice is hissed low and just quick enough that nobody but Adrien can hear the name. “What are you doing with  _ Vanily _ of all people!” 

Well. What Adrien was talking to Félix about was that they needed to go somewhere after school to talk more about the secret lives of superheroes and to make a schedule that involved Félix showing his face as ‘Backup’ Noir when Adrien had his most public appearances. There’s only so many times Adrien can run away from the camera’s when an Akuma shows up.

Nino didn’t need to know that. 

So Adrien pulled his most oblivious smile, “Why wouldn’t I talk to Félix?” Nino chokes at the use of his first name. “We’re friends.” 

Nino’s got to think Adriens a moron, by the way Nino’s giving him a disbelieving look and a raised eyebrow. “Adrien you’ve never talked to that guy before- ever- and today you went out of your way to grab Vanily and both of you disappeared until-“ 

Mme. Bustier walks in, calling everyone’s attention for the day. She’s also asking for everyone to pass the homework to the front please. 

The homework packet moves forward, Adrien’s neat handwriting and fully done packet gets covered by Nino’s much messier one, then Marinette’s stuttering problem solving and Alya’s meandering thoughts, then the rest of the rows. It’s an easy pass to the teacher who takes the packets from both Adrien and Chloé. 

The day starts, Mme. Bustier starts off by explaining lasts night's homework. 

Nino’s not done yet, he passes Adrien a note as slick as he can. 

“ _ How the hell did you become ‘friends’ with a guy like Vanily?” _

Nino’s handwriting is loopy, full of curves and ticks that come from a hand whose first language was Arabic. Adrien’s hand is much neater- block letters and straight lines when he answers. 

“ _ We’ve been friends for a while.”  _ Adrien writes, his words come out one at a time when Mme. Bustier isn’t looking at him writing on a scap note. “ _ Why? Feeling jealous?”  _

Nino actually snorts a laugh, quieting it down quickly when people take a glance in his direction. “ _ Vanily’s one of the meanest people in the school-“ _

Adrien wasn’t sure on that point really, but he’s not gonna contest anything on a note in class. 

“ _ He’s not making you do anything, is he-“  _

“M. Lahiffe!” Mme. Bustier calls, looking pointedly at the note that sits between them. “If you have something to say, say it after class.” 

Nino blushes embarrassed red, but crunches the note in his fist and goes back to paying attention.

—

Félix wasn’t in the same class as Adrien, his home room teacher was Mendeleiev- so his homeroom was the science classroom. 

He spends most of his time in the science classroom too, only moving to another room when it was an assigned lab day. This works out fantastically because it means everyone gets extra table space and legroom. The downside is the room is frigidly cold most of the time and there’s little space to put bags. Félix, who wears long sleeves even in the summer is never bothered by the cold temperatures but he sits behind two girls who  _ constantly  _ complain about how cold it is. The two weather girls should be more aware to dress appropriately but they seem to be determined to dress ‘cutely’. 

Claude sits beside him, not even bothering to pay attention and instead very adamant in his wanting to bother Félix. 

Mendeleiev is letting them have some personal time to solve math problems- meaning she’s doing some kind of weird and wild experiment that she’ll only occasionally spout something educational for. 

Mendeleiev lets them chat amongst themselves, but Claude isn’t ‘chatting’ with Félix. Claude’s bugging the hell out of him. 

Allen and Allegra sit behind Félix and Claude, and those two are just egging Claude on in his questioning trying to get Félix to admit why he didn’t come hang out with them before school today. 

“I’m not always able to put up with your shenanigans before school. I am sometimes late.” Félix says, doing his best to focus on the problem on the paper. 

“You’re never late.” Claude points out, leaning heavily into Félix’s space without ever touching him. “You make a  _ point _ to be never late. I showed up late once and you made fun of me for three weeks.” 

Félix remembers those three weeks. Those were a good three weeks. 

“Also!” Claude’s still going, still rolling on with his exuberant enthusiasm. “You were spotted with another classmate- somebody  _ not _ being one of the three people you bother to talk to.” 

Allegra from behind Félix let’s out a very unlady-like snort of giggly laughter. Félix had liked her before this, turns out Allegra isn’t a friend at all she’s a  _ backstabbing traitor _ . 

“I talk to other people.” Félix defends himself. 

“Name one other person you talk to besides us on a daily basis.” That's Allen, from behind Claude. 

“Trick question. I don’t speak to you three on a daily basis. I reserve my right to mentally recover from you on Sunday.” 

Claude pouts, honest to god. “Bro, that hurts-“ he thumps his chest “-right here.” 

—

After classes are over for the day Adrien’s waiting in the courtyard for Félix to arrive. 

Nino’s been trying to pry why Adrien had ditched him after a perfunctory hello this morning, Alya had also jumped onto the interrogation and was reveling in glee at being able to ask stupid questions to a person who’s been trained in answering them. 

Marinette’s quiet, but she’s either really quiet or suttery around him. Adrien  _ tried _ to get her to come out of her shell but she’s been stubbornly sticking to not talking to him one on one. 

Nino’s the one who spots it first, peeking up from where he’s talking to his best friend and watching as Mme. Mendeleiev’s class gets out a few minutes late. 

There, blond hair peeking just above the heads of his own classmates, is Graham de Vanily. 

Everyone’s made the mistake between Agreste and Vanily, but nobody makes that mistake  _ twice _ . 

Vanily’s gone to this school for a lot longer than Adrien has, and was one of the main reasons it took so long for everyone to warm up to the much sweeter and more personable model. The only reason that Nino reached out to Adrien on the first day at all is because it was confirmed to him that they might have looked the same but their personalities could not have been more different. 

“Félix!” Adrien calls, waving his hand. 

Alya watches as Vanily visibly slumps, trying to hide in the herd. The people around him, however, are having  _ none _ of that. A taller kid, brown short hair and blue eyes, snatches the book from Vanily’s hands and stomps over to where Adrien called from. 

The kid throws the book on the bench they’ve gathered around in the courtyard and crosses his arms. There’s an unhinged glee in this man’s eye and Alya knows in her  _ heart _ this is the kind of person she’d get along with. 

Félix follows, eyes trained on his book the whole time. There’s two others, a blonde girl and a black boy, who are hanging just on the fringe. 

“Why do you want to talk to Félix?” The book thief says, “I’ve been trying to get him to spill the beans all day and he just straight up started ignoring my existence during second period. If I can’t get it from  _ him _ I’m getting it from  _ you.”  _

“Hello Claude.” Marinette says, bright. 

“Hey Mari.” Claude responds back, not taking his eyes off of Adrien. 

“Claude, this is  _ rude.”  _ Félix hisses as he makes a grab for his poor abused book- getting strong armed by Claude the whole time. 

“It’s not  _ rude,  _ it's  _ detective work.” _ Claude’s got a smug little smile as he continues to block Félix from grabbing the book and running. 

Adrien scoops up the book, nobody bothers to think of stopping him, “Félix and I are friends.” Adrien says brightly, tucking the book into his sides. “I was talking to him about a book he recommended to me this morning.” 

Claude blinks, dumbfounded. Nino’s confused and Alya’s bemused. Marinette just nods a little to herself- as if that explanation’s made perfect sense. 

“We talked about ‘ _ Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep’-”  _ Adrien laughs awkwardly, rubbing his hand through his hair. “- and it’s really interesting themes about identity and if one knows who they really are.” 

Félix, glaring, adds “I do love Phillip K. Dick, he’s an intriguing writer and this  _ particular  _ book ends with dark motifs about how the main character empathized with the  _ wrong person _ and ends up being in trouble for it.” 

Adrien’s smile never falters. 

Claude just turns to his friend, aghast. “You made me accost perfectly innocent people because of a  _ secret book club?! _ ” 

“I had nothing to do with your actions.” Félix won’t be roped into this any more than he has already. “Don’t you make it out like I’m the one at fault here.” 

Nino’s giving Adrien puppy-dog eyes, “You couldn’t tell me you were in a book club? Bro. I’m your best bro. I wouldn’t have bothered you all day about it if it was just this.” 

“I was kind of relishing in the fact I had something that nobody else knew about.” Adrien’s still smiling, cheeks a perfect little pink but eyes just a shade of sad. “It’s kind of refreshing to have something for just me to enjoy.” 

Félix can’t even believe this. The homeschooling overbearing parent tactic was working in Adriens favor here. This is absolute heresy, Adrien’s too powerful. 

Briefly, Félix doesn’t think his reputation is going to survive. 

—

Marinette’s gone to this school for a long time, and she’s going to go to this school until she graduates and goes to college. She lives across the street from the campus she’s currently attending, it’s the most convenient school for her to go to not even adding in the fact her parents are just high-profile enough to get her in. 

She knows just about everyone, the school’s class sizes small and almost everyone here attached to a parent with a big name. 

Nino’s dad works as a director for InVS, Institut de Veille Sanitaire, Chloé’s dad is the mayor, Juleka’s got a celebrity mom, Mylène’s for a celebrity dad. Everyone who goes to Françoise Dupont goes there because they’ve either got grades to compete with the top scores in the nation or for privacy against the media. 

Marinette’s family bakery is  _ just _ enough to edge her a spot, as it could be proven that going to another school would attract media attention that would hinder her education. 

(She knows that being Ladybug sorta cancels out the whole point of lessening her face in the media, but she’s not going to even argue this point.) 

That’s why when Alya asked her why Adrien becoming friends with Félix was something to cause a ruckus over after school in her room, Marinette needed a minute to explain to Alya that she’s known Félix since they were  _ eleven.  _

“He’s a scholarship kid, like Max.” Marinette chews on a lemon tea cookie, writing down the answer to some question for language arts. “But besides from that nobody knows much about him.” 

“What’s his scholarship on? Is it science, like Max?” 

“I  _ think _ it might be literature?” Marinette’s not sure. “Like I said. The only people who even  _ talk _ to the guy are Claude and his two friends.” 

“How do you know this  _ Claude  _ then? Old classmate?” Alya’s never really interacted with people outside of her own class, she hasn’t needed to yet. 

Marinette nods, she  _ does _ know Claude from an old class. “He started trying to get a rise out of Félix, trying to get Félix to either laugh at one of his jokes or to snap at him. It hasn’t worked yet. They’re best friends.” 

“Why does Nino hate him then?” Alya tried to ask around the whole class about this ‘Félix Graham de Vanily’ but all the responses she’s gotten are passive or negative but for no real  _ concrete _ reason. 

Marinette danced around the subject too, but now that the two of them are alone in her room there’s no escape from Alya’s questions. The problem with Félix is that there really isn’t a good reason not to be neutral about him. Sure, he’s abrasive to talk to for more than four minutes but he’s not going to go out of his way to chat with you. 

“Nobody  _ hates _ him.” Marinette clears up, hesitant to say anything that’ll set Alya off into the same crusade she’s running against Chloé. “But … nobody really  _ enjoys _ him either. He’s antisocial, at best, and doesn’t engage in any school activity.” 

Alya seems to think about it for a moment. “Then why is Adrien friends with him?” 

“That’s the twenty thousand dollar question, isn’t it?” Marinette answers another question in the homework. She’s almost done with this class for the night. “Félix and Adrien might just really like old books. Adrien might need Félix as a body double for something. Félix might be using his likeness for nefarious things and Adrien’s trying to stop him.” 

“I doubt it’s that last thing.” Alya laughs. “Even though they do look scarily alike don’t they?” 

Marinette nods. “It’s one of the reasons I reacted so badly the first day I met Adrien. I thought it was Félix playing a mean spirited joke at first- which had  _ never _ happened before.” 

Alya thinks, checking her phone for notifications. Marinette does another problem in the homework packet. “You don’t like Félix.” Alya says, uncharacteristically serious. 

Marinette looks up from her packet, meeting Alya’s eyes. 

The two of them are sprawled on the floor of Marinette’s room, books and homework half done around them. There’s a bowl of confectionery half full of the ‘ugly’ pastries that Marinette’s parents couldn’t sell. The soft sounds of Paris outside are drowned out by the soundtrack playing from Marinette’s computer. 

“I think he’s unappreciative of the work others will do for him.” Marinette decides on. “I’ve been in classes with him before and he doesn’t do anything beside show up, do the work, and leave.” 

“You don’t like him.” Alya says again, eyebrows raising. 

“I don’t think he’s a very good classmate. I wouldn’t go out of my way to talk with him. To the best of my knowledge he’s not a malicious person.” 

“Oh my god! Mari! You don’t like him!” Alya’s close to laughing. “You’re trying to be so diplomatic about this!” 

Marinette blushes, deep red, “I’m not gonna say I don’t like him if he’s never done anything to deserve it!” 

“You don’t like his vibes! This is hilarious!” Alya’s set down her phone to snatch up a sweet. “I’ve never met somebody who you just  _ didn’t vibe _ with before.” 

Marinette sighs, defeated. “He’s just a hard person to get along with. You talk to him, see for yourself.” 

—

Chat Noir is the one to arrive at the meeting place first. 

Ladybug lands with a careful grace, her yo-yo snapping back with a flick of her wrist. 

The city looks beautiful at night, all lit up and sparkling. With Chat Noir there it feels like something more out of a movie, something dangerous spiking the air full of magic and mystery. 

They’ve chosen someplace tall again, someplace secluded and easy to hide away from the public eye. It’s also not super  _ legal _ to be up here without safety equipment and a permit but they hadn’t let that stop them before. 

Ladybug gives a brief hug to her partner, before pulling away and cocking her hip in question. 

“I’ve talked to Backup.” Chat Noir begins, smiling softly. It makes Marinette’s heart soften when the two of them get to talk without the threat of an Akuma above them and Chat pulls those little lonely expressions. “He requests we don’t call him Backup.” 

Ladybug snorts in an unladylike way, surprised. “You called a meeting for this?” 

“I thought we agreed to go over this development as soon as we could?” Chat laughs with her, delightful sounds tinkling off the top of the radio tower they sit on. 

Chat goes over what him and Backup- who wants to be called literally anything other than  _ Backup _ \- talked about. 

Mostly that Backup doesn’t actually want to be a superhero- at all. Chat Noir’s perfectly happy to get tossed around Paris for the greater good but Backup wants nothing to do with it. He’ll help out in an absolute pinch but besides situations when Chat Noir physically cannot be Chat Noir, Backup’s happy to not have chips in this game. 

“We need to come up with a new name.” Chat noir says, before he gets onto another point. 

“Why?” Ladybug asks, thinking that’s a very low priority here. 

“If we keep calling him  _ Backup _ I’m never gonna get it out of my mind.” 

So Chat Noir’s still going to be the main Noir, coming to the call of ninety-nine percent of Akuma attacks, while  _ Cat Sìth _ \- 

“That’s a dangerous name.” Ladybug says, “and not a very happy tale.” 

Chat Noir looks at her, deadpan, gestures at himself, “I named myself  _ black cat _ , do you think we’re not fully embracing this look?” 

- _ Cat Sìth _ will only engage in the one percent when Chat Noir is totally unable to participate. 

Ladybug’s also not allowed to ask either boy questions about each other. That’s her own addition, not she would ask but it’s nice to have that rule. Chat Noir agrees with it, which surprises Marinette. Chat Noir’s always been willing to give hints to his identity- but in this instance he wants it under lock and key. 

Ladybug also says that Cat Sìth should tell her  _ immediately  _ when he’s in play. She’s not going to want to be guessing on the battlefield. For practicalities sake Ladybug’s always going to assume Chat Noir’s on scene, but Cat Sìth is going to have to let her know somehow that he’s not the right boy so she can adjust her strategies. 

“You two are identical twins right?” Ladybug asks, “The magic makes it hard to pick out the finer features of your face and body, so I can’t tell just from appearance.” 

Chat Noir makes a half smile half what Marinette can only assume is a grimace? What’s that face about? But Chat Noir answers anyway, “Yes. Identical. I’ll talk to Cat Sìth and get back to you on that code.” 

Marinette watches as Chat Noir’s body language becomes uncomfortable every time the word ‘ _ twin _ ’ is mentioned. Remembers how Sìth ground out the word like it was hot coals given sound. They were undeniably identical in appearance- if different in personality- so why didn’t they want to be identified by the word? 

Alya’s younger sisters  _ loved _ their twin, loved being a twin, and were inseparable. The two of them woke up arm and arm and went to sleep tangled together with each other. Why did these two not like-? 

Marinette’s always been told that twins were good luck, a sign of prosperity and happiness, but Alya once admitted that their old neighbor had seen her little sisters as a sign of bad luck and despair. 

Could this be a similar situation? Chat Noir told her before that his mother’s not in the picture and hasn’t been for a while, did his parents split because they had twins and each parent got one kid? That’s horrible. It would explain why both boys disliked the idea that they were a twin to the other. 

Oh, poor little Chatton. 

“I think I’ll need to talk to Cat Sìth again, not in battle!” Ladybug quickly says when Chat Noir’s face goes that blank neutral it falls into whenever he’s upset. “I’m just going to need him to be more helpful as Chat Noir whenever he  _ does _ join. I can’t have it be a battle like Style Queen again. We got  _ lucky _ there, I can’t have you depending on me to get you out safe and alive and a partner who’s inexperience makes it harder on me than it needs to be.” 

Chat Noir still isn’t  _ smiling _ , but he’s not that careful neutral blank either. Thank god. He’s thinking about it, considering it. 

Marinette knows that Chat Noir isn’t dumb, he’s  _ scarily _ intelligent sometimes, so this isn’t something he’ll have a logical issue with. Emotionally though Chat Noir is somebody who Marinette's grown to care for as a friend and she  _ knows _ Chat Noir’s got the emotional wherewithal of a particularly dense stick. He’ll know logically that the request is sound, but his feelings about it will still be tender for a long while. 

“Could you have him practice with us; just not as Chat Noir?” 

_ That’s _ a statement that causes Ladybug to jerk to attention, her brows furrowing and a questioning tilt to her shoulders. “What do you mean?” 

“You’ve given out other miraculous before- and I know it’s unorthodox to use them like this, but could you go to whoever keeps them and snag one that could be used to practice general movement with?” 

Oh they’ve had that argument before, Chat Noir and Ladybug after a battle with another borrowed Miraculous user. Chat Noir asks  _ why _ he can’t know about the mysterious place she goes to retrieve the Fox and Turtle and Ladybug … doesn’t have a good answer for him. 

Master Fu keeps telling her she can’t let him know, but Chat Noir’s said his piece about them being an  _ equal team _ and doesn’t bring it up. 

He feels like  _ nothing _ when Ladybug doesn’t tell him important things that happen to their superhero lives, Chat Noir is just as much a part of this as Ladybug is, and it kills both of them to have secrets like that between them. 

After the fights with Alya as the Fox- something he should know but doesn’t- or Nino as the Turtle- something he should know,  _ but doesn’t _ \- Chat Noir doesn’t say anything to anybody and simply  _ leaves.  _

He’s upset by her secrets, but he understands them. 

She hopes. 

It makes Ladybug think for a moment, careful and cautious. 

“I’ll ask tonight. If I can make an arrangement I’ll let you know by tomorrow at noon. We’ll work out the time.” 

Chat Noir nods, once, and turns around to leave. 

—

She gets back to him that night, two in the morning Plagg gets a soft tinkling echo from Tikki that relays to him the message Ladybug wants to send. 

Plagg keeps it to himself for now, watching Adrien sleep next to a phone that still had the ebook for Philip K. Dick’s ‘ _ Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep’ _ glowing white text into his blonde hair. 

—

Félix has three books with him today. 

Which isn’t too unusual, the thing that makes people  _ notice _ is that he’s carrying two of them at once. 

Félix normally has one book at a time, going through each page meticulously until it’s time for a new novel. He’ll reach into his bag, replace one book for another, and then keep on reading. 

Adrien’s talking to Nino today, chatting together about something Félix couldn’t give less of a shit about. 

Félix gears up, aiming carefully and throws a book at Adrien’s head. 

Adrien catches it, not even bothering to look away from his conversation with Nino. 

Nino lets out a little  _ aughh! _ of surprise. Students around them jump, but all Adrien does is very casually look at the cover. 

“ _ The House of the Scorpion? _ Félix I thought you were going to give me something more along the lines of  _ Catcher in the Rye _ .” Adrien flips to the back, reading the summary. 

“Don’t you  _ start _ with me.” Félix warns. “You wanted a book club, I’m  _ giving  _ you a book club.” 

“Giving me a book about clones and finding your own identity? Is this meant to be subtle?” Adrien’s smiling as he reads further down the summary. 

“ _ No.” _

Adrien laughs, bright and bubbly as Félix storms by, passing into his classroom without another word. 

—

Alya likes to think she's got a reasonable head on her shoulders most of the time, but there’s always those moments when she stutters in her logic and gets stubborn and refuses to let go of the wrong thing for a long time. 

She knows she needs to have all the facts to be satisfied about something, and now presented with a mystery in her very own school she’s going to take Marinette’s advice and go and talk to the man who’s somehow got nearly the entire school against him. 

She decides to hunt the Adrien lookalike down at lunch, seeing the blonde friend of his talking to the two junior weather girls, Mireille Caquet and Aurore Beauréal. 

The girl’s name is Allegra, she’s got long blond hair and speaks with an accent that Alya can’t place off the top of her head. Something Nordic maybe? She’s tall and beautiful and when she smiles Alya thinks for a moment she hears soft music play in the background. Allegra tells Alya that Félix normally eats lunch alone, somewhere quiet, on campus. 

Alya thanks her, and begins her search. 

Not the cafeteria, there's so many people there it's normally a shout-fest. The library is discounted by the fact that the librarian allowed students to play music while they eat lunch. 

Alya finds Félix on the roof, alone with nothing but a book to keep him company. 

He looks up when Alya closes the door, green eyes  _ toxic _ when they cut to Alya. 

Félix doesn’t say anything, but he does snap the book close when its clear Alya’s not going to leave. 

“I want to talk to you.” 

It’s such a non-starter, but Félix still hasn’t said anything yet and Alya’s been thrown off her usual rhythm by the intensity of Félix’s stare. 

Félix still doesn’t  _ say _ anything, just continues to look at Alya like he’s expecting something more from her. Like he sees everything that doesn’t quite add up and is found himself wanting. 

“I haven’t talked with you, I’ve just heard of what other people in the class tell me. I don’t usually work on the basis of speculation and wanted to check my sources, so-to speak.” Alya sits down about two feet away from Félix, settling down on the concrete divider. Félix doesn’t actually  _ move _ , which is creepy in a way that reminds Alya of uncannily realistic sculptures. 

“I’m Alya.” She doesn’t stick her hand out- she gets the feeling Félix wouldn’t shake her hand. “I want to know, why the sudden interest in talking to Adrien? Don’t give me this whole  _ bookclub _ crap, I know a convenient excuse when one’s shown to me.” 

“Get in line, Césaire.” 

Perfectly even tone, perfectly even delivery. Not even a fluctuation for Alya to use. Alya now can relate to Marinette getting bad vibes from him. 

“You, and the rest of the school, wants to know suddenly about my personal business. Nobody’s ever cared about my thoughts before they involved the school’s-” and Félix actually does the finger quotation marks as he says this “-sweetheart. Now that he talks to me everyone wants to know  _ why _ , including you, who’s never even given me a thought before now.” 

Alya flushes, embarrassed. “I’ve never had reason before now.” 

“You  _ still _ don’t have a reason. I’m entitled to continue to live my life how I’ve led it up to now. I’ve made a connection to another student here based on our shared looks and everyone wants to know  _ why _ , like it's not  _ obvious _ after one look when we get within five feet of each other. After a few conversations on how it's  _ horrible _ how people go out of their way to  _ accost _ us when we’re trying to live our life normally, we’ve discovered we both like to read.” 

Alya has gone past embarrassed now, running right into ashamed. 

“We’re sharing books with each other, nothing more, nothing less. The books we’ve shared so far have all been about  _ identity _ , can you guess why?” 

“I get it, no need to be nasty, goddamn.” Alya can feel her ears burn, she now understands why Nino doesn’t like him at  _ all _ . 

“I’m not being nasty, I’m being  _ honest _ with you. I assume you’re going to go back to your friends who are going to tell this to the rest of the school and I’m finally going to get people to stop  _ pestering _ me.” Félix reaches for his book, jamming his fingernail into the crease where his bookmark is. “Thank you, Césaire, for being useful.” 

With that Félix uses his thumb to flip open the book to the exact page he was reading when Alya had interrupted him. 

Alya doesn’t even wait, she just strands up and leaves because this conversation is very clearly over. 

\--

The akuma two days later is easy enough that Chat Noir didn’t use his cataclysm and Ladybug’s got five minutes on her timer from just having to summon the lucky charm to clean up the random little piles of salt left on the ground. Nobody got hurt, nobody was really even unconvinced, the akuma alarm didn’t even ring. It happened so early in the morning nobody was  _ awake _ enough to even see it. 

The guy who became the ‘ _ Saltmaster’  _ doesn’t want any attention brought to him, so he’s just thanked them for his time and walked away with red ears. 

Chat Noir and Ladybug leave together, having a few rare minutes to one another without the pressure of the press. 

“Any word from Cat Sìth?” Ladybug asks, she’s gotten back to Chat Noir about what they’ve discussed, but haven’t heard from him since. 

“He’s not down for it.” Chat Noir says. “He’s not going to don a miraculous unless it's life or death.” 

That genuinely surprises her one one hand, but on another hand it makes perfect sense. Marinette didn’t want this kind of thing either at first, but slowly grew to enjoy it and this has become something she genuinely looks forward to. 

She wouldn’t have met Chat Noir if not for her being Ladybug. 

This superheroing isn’t for everyone, and she gets that. 

But still, what kind of guy would willingly give up the opportunity to be a  _ superhero _ . 

“Your brother must be a saint.” She says, pushing her hair behind her ear as the wind blows around them both. “Not taking advantage of you being a superhero.” 

Chat Noir shrugs, his own hair flying around his cheekbones as he looks at his lady in the morning light. “I don’t think he thinks of himself like that.” 

Ladybug hears the beeping of her own earrings, and gives Chat Noir one long hug before she breaks off to go back home and get ready for her day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anway im giving myself away by being a huge book nerd. whoops lmao. don't exepct these chapters to be this often either im a weak child.


	3. turned herself into an akuma, funniest shit i’ve ever seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written on my phone during a trip to the beach while a hurricane barrels towards us

Adrien doesn’t like Lila. 

It’s not something he keeps super secret either- it’s just that nobody asks him any real questions on his opinion and just assumes he’s okay with her hanging off of him like a day old leech. 

She just showed up two days ago and she’s already tried to  _ ‘claim’ _ him like he’s some kind of lost puppy at the pound. She’s trying to get him to sit next to her and Adrien doesn’t really want to, he wants to sit next to Nino and talk about video games and TV shows and all other things Lila has no interest in. 

Adrien didn’t like her, but he knew how to deal with liars. 

Take the high road. 

It’s going to be harder, it’s going to be bumpier, and it’s going to take longer. 

But when the rains come you won’t be washed away. 

Adrien can only do so much at school. He can’t cause a scene or else he’ll be pulled, he can’t tarnish his reputation or else he’ll be pulled and he can’t get anything lower than a ninety-five on an assignment or he’ll be pulled. He’s toeing a fine line when he talks to people who aren’t approved by his father so he normally sticks to speaking with a limited number of people from his own class. 

He has to shut up and hope that Lila gets trapped in her own web, tangling herself up in the lies she crafts and spins to each classmate that hangs onto her every word. 

Adrien’s not falling for it, neither is Marinette. 

So it’s  _ really  _ funny on day three of Lila returning to their class Félix calls him up early in the morning before school starts and asks to borrow a change of clothes.

“Why?” Adrien asks, curious to this strange request. 

“I had an unfortunate accident with a car and a mud puddle this morning.” Félix explains with a sigh. “I’m standing in the boys locker room covered in dirt.” 

“Why are you at school so early?” Adrien asks, slipping on a black shirt as he gets ready for his day. Oh Félix is going to be pissed, he normally wears a black waistcoat and a nice grey undershirt and if those are ruined you have to actually  _ dry-clean _ those suckers. “You normally arrive about the same time as me.” 

Félix sighs. “I’m here to talk to some faculty. Just please- I’ll wash and return them to you. I just need to not be covered head to toe in mud today.” 

Adrien grabs an extra set of jeans and a nice shirt from his closet, putting them into his bag as he scoops his phone and walks out the door. “I’ve got you covered. I’ll be there soon with some clothes for you.” 

A sound of something from Félix’s end that Adrien takes as a ‘ _ thank you, kind master I’ll forever be in your debt _ ’ and the phone conversation is over. 

The ride to school is uneventful as normal, and it’s sooner rather than later that Adrien’s passing his bag to Félix in the locker room before homeroom starts. 

Jeans- Félix normally wears slacks to school but Adrien’s slacks were strictly off limits except for formal events and photo shoots- and a nice white button up shirt. 

Félix looks bare in the light clothes, the white shirt’s got short sleeves and all of Félix’s pristine hair gel is washed out leaving his normally tame blond hair looking something like if Chat Noir rolled out of bed. 

“Aw buddy!” Adrien hides his laughter behind his hand. “You look so cute!” 

Félix takes a swat at Adrien’s head. “Don’t even try. I’m not in the mood today.” 

Adrien just laughs, “You should wear white more often! It’s a good color on you. “ 

“It washes me out- I prefer black.” Félix opens the door of the locker room with his dirty clothes wrapped in paper towels and tightly packed in his black messenger school bag. 

“You think white washes you out but then turn around and wear  _ black? _ What are you? Insane? Colorblind?”

The two boys argue about color for a while longer, heading to the courtyard side by side. 

The students are filing in by the handful now, the courtyards crowded with students who are talking through the morning. Nino’s there by a bench, sitting with Alya and chatting with his hands in constant motion. Claude and Allegra appear to be in a heated discussion about something on her phone. 

Adrien and Félix start to walk down the stairs together, both planning on going separate ways and talking to their friends. 

“ _ Merde _ .” Adrien hisses low to Félix beside him when the two of them are three steps down. “She’s standing right at the bottom, with all those people.” 

“Who?” Félix asks back, just as low. 

Adrien shakes his head minutely, just enough to ask Félix not to both with it until later. 

They both read the bottom at the same time, Felix turns to head to his classroom on the bottom floor and Adrien tenses up in anticipation for- 

“ _ OMG _ ! Adrien!” 

—

Lila’s day started out wonderfully. 

She was still having a good day. She arrived at school before class with half done homework and excuses and doe-eyes asking Max if he’d be so kind to finish it for her. Max hemmed and hawed but eventually took her own homework to do alongside Kims.

She doesn’t see who she really wanted to talk to today, but that’s alright she’ll just hang out with the girls in her class and chat about whatever she wants to talk about today. Most of them are talking about the last akuma or an interesting TV show- things Lila can work with. 

She’s halfway through telling a tale about how she totally knows the guy who plays the brother on the latest drama when she spots Adrien walking down the steps. He looks good today, all dressed up in white with his hair artfully messy, Lila doesn’t see any of that hair gel he normally uses and she is for  _ sure _ going to take advantage of that fact by running her hands through Adrien’s fluffy mane publicly- laying claim on him. 

“Oh!” Rose see’s where Lila’s eyes and attention have strayed- she’s always so helpful whenever Lila whips out the sob stories and teary eyes, “They  _ are _ here today.” 

Lila takes a second- “What?” 

Rose motions to the two people who had just come out of the locker room- they were almost to the stairs now- and says “Félix and Adrien, I hadn’t seen them so I thought they were absent.” 

Now that Rose mentioned it, and now that both of them are in a better unobstructed view, Lila can see that there’s two of them. 

They look … well Lila can’t tell them apart. 

It’s like somebody just hit copy and paste, but in real life. 

Why hadn’t she heard of Adrien having a twin before now? Why hadn’t anybody  _ told _ her? 

She glances over both of them and she makes her decision.

The two boys reach the bottom of the stairs, and she immediately bypasses the boy in the black long sleeve to latch onto the one with the white short sleeves. 

“ _ OMG _ ! Adrien!” She presses into his side. “I thought you weren’t here today! I’m  _ so glad _ that I get to talk to you!” 

Adrien freezes up at her side, instantly going rigid. Lila squeezes tighter, presses closer. “We deffo  _ need  _ to chat!-“ 

“I need you to remove your hands.” 

Lila looks up at the boy she’s attached herself to, she tightens her grip, “What are you talking about darling?” 

—

Adrien’s laughing, internally. 

On the outside he’s frozen in disbelief at the situation that’s occurring. Literally right in front of him. 

This kind of thing had happened before, sure, but most people caught on quick to who they were talking to. Adrien had never had somebody confuse him for Félix when the two of them were standing right _ next _ to each other. 

Normally the two of them beside one another meant nobody mixed them up- either tone of voice gave them away or what they were discussing. Nino has gotten to the point that he’s able to recognize who’s who on sight- Alya’s close enough to Adrien she can get it right nine times out of ten. 

Félix looks a mixture of shocked and  _ furious _ . 

Lila’s got her claws in the bend of Félix’s elbow, looking up at him with an expression of cute confusion. 

“Please remove yourself from my person.” Félix says again, trying to move away from her. 

“Aww! Don’t be like that!” Lila just grips harder, Adrien can see the tips of her fingers turn white from the force. He has bruises in his inner arms too, the girl’s got some serious fingers. 

“I am telling you,  _ right now _ . Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me.” 

Félix’s not in the mood, Adrien’s already backed up two stairs to get out of his reach. 

Rose’s eyes are wide, she’s looking between Félix and Lila with a furrow in her brow. Juleka’s just looking at Lila, her lips pressed into a thin line. Mylène looks nervous and Alix looks bored. 

“Adrien don’t be like this! Come on you know you like us getting close.” Lila pulls Félix closer, tighter, pressing his upper arm between her chest. “I like hugging you.” 

“I told you to let go. I’m not warning you again.” 

Lila scoffs a little huff of air and holds just a little tighter- 

Félix turns just a tick then with an open palm  _ smacks! _ Lila’s forehead to rear her back and away from him. 

Lila’s already screaming, agape and aghast, as Félix yanks his arm from her. Félix is inspecting his arm with a grimace ignoring the high pitched screaming of the woman beside him. 

Adrien does just lose it at this point- it’s too much. This is hilarious. This is literally too funny. 

People are coming over in droves, attached by the screaming. 

Rose is already trying to comfort Lila, but Juleka and Alix aren’t moving to help her at all. People are crowding around the bottom of the stairs asking what was going on, what happened, why was Lila screaming? 

“He hit me!” Lila’s voice is strong as she screeches loud and clear. “He  _ hit  _ me!” 

The ambient noise rackets up, getting louder as the seconds pass. People are matching and raising the volume of the others in the mob, it goes from average noise levels to pandemonium in seconds. 

“He  _ hit _ me!” Lila keeps screaming, tears streaming down her face. 

Adrien’s laughing so hard he has to sit down on the stairs. 

“What happened!?” Alya’s voice is far above the rest, louder and in charge trying to take care of the situation. 

Félix looks two seconds away from bursting a blood vessel, he’s still got his eyes fixated on his own elbow. 

“ **_Everybody_ ** !  _ Shut! Up _ !” Alya’s voice finally breaks the crowd, authoritative and louder than everybody else. When people quiet down enough to think Alya steps forward with her arms crossed and feet planted. “What happened?!” 

“He assaulted me!” Lila’s hollers, pointing and flailing her arms. “He punched me right in the face!” 

Félix scoffs, opens his mouth an- 

“How could you?” Alya asks, turning to Félix, she’s got an expression that’s a mixture of unsurprised but hurt. 

“Oh  _ no _ .” Félix immediately matches Alya’s stance and tone. “Not you. Unbiased judge only. Get a teacher.” 

“ _ Excuse _ me?” Alya asked. 

“Get me a teacher. Did you not hear me?” Felix’s a force to be reckoned with like this. “I am  _ this close _ to losing my shit.” 

“If you attac-“ 

Alya gets cut off by Félix raising his arm sharply. “You are biased, you can’t lead this accusation. Get a teacher right this instant.” 

Lila speaks up, from where she’s still drying her tears. “We don’t need a teacher if you’re clearly the one wh-“ 

“I swear to god I am at the end of my rope.” Félix’s tone is hard and he doesn’t allow anybody to talk over him. “Get a teacher. If you don’t I’m going to get one  _ myself _ and show them the bruises you’ve left on my arm  _ do you understand.”  _

Lila huffs. “How dare you accuse me-“

“You leave bruises on my arm all the time, I don’t expect Félix’s to look any different.”

The crowd turns to Adrien, who’s sitting on the fourth step. Oh  _ now  _ they remember that Adrien’s been sitting there the whole time. The crowd looks … sheepish? People are looking around both at each other and the ground.

There’s electricity in the air, Félix looks murderous with the edge of something that’s akin to cornered feral desperation while Lila looks appropriately weepy. There's a static that builds with every heartbeat, Adrien keeps his eye on the sky watching for a butterfly to appear at any moment. 

“Break it up!  _ Break it up _ !” 

The children immediately part way for the voice of an adult. 

The art teacher is standing in the courtyard with his hands on his hips and Marinette just right behind him. He looks ruffled, as if he was just running over here. 

“What’s happened?” He demands, “Why was there screaming?” 

“He  _ hit _ me!” Lila jumps, she gestures to her forehead with watery eyes. “Punched me right in the face!” 

The art teacher looks at Félix, raises his eyebrows. “Care to explain yourself young man?” 

Félix rolls his shoulders, setting them like he’s being sent off to war before he presents his elbow to the teacher. 

There, for the whole class to see, are five little crescent marks that are just starting to turn that pink-blue color that denotes a what is to become a bruise. “I asked her to stop holding onto my arm. She refused. I asked again. She ref-“ 

“We were playing!” Lila says, crying. “We were playing and you hit me!” 

“We were not  _ playing _ .” Félix gestures again with his arm. “I asked and you  _ did not _ listen. I pushed you away because I felt like you threatened me!” 

“I never did that!” Lila’s tears fall down in wet globs. “I just hugged you and you punched me!” 

Adrien exhales another ringing laugh. This is  _ hilarious _ . Félix’s about a step away from murder and Lila’s crying and Adrien can’t help but think this is all just karmatic comeuppance.

The poor art teacher just looks confused, strung out in that way only teachers could look. 

“We’re going to the office  _ now _ .” The art teacher says, motioning to both Félix and Lila to follow him. “Get to class all of you! Get to class!” 

Students begin dispersing, scattering to the winds to get out of the line of fire of an irritable teacher. 

“Get to class!” 

—

Adrien tells the principle what happened, exactly how it happened. Showed the inside of his own arms, the fading yellow and green splotches, said he’d like Lila to never sit by him in class again. 

He steps out of the office, nods to Juleka, Rose and Mylène who sit on the benches outside of the office. “I told what happened, as it happened.” Adrien says, looking at each girl in the eye. “I expect you to do the same.” 

Alix, who’s making loose circles with the roller blades she had skated to school in, scoffs. “I’m gonna say that Félix warned her, like, four times. Don’t get righteous on me.” 

Adrien focuses on Alix with that model smile. “Last time a person in our class spoke out against Lila she lost her best friend.” Adrien doesn’t let his smile falter as all four girls flinched away at the reminder. “I have plenty of reason to remind the four of you to do what’s right.” 

“You didn’t come to Marinette’s defense either.” Alix shoots back. 

“Maybe.” Adrien acknowledges, “I don’t want to be a bystander in games I don’t want to play anymore.” 

Alix presses her lips together, shifting back and forth on her skates. She’s a lot smarter than most people give her credit for- she’s also a lot more secretive. She’s on the mixed edge of knowing everyone’s business and knowing nothing about the rest of her classmates. Alix is the kind of girl Adrien respects, because she’s not the one to fall for just a facade. 

Adrien leaves, passing the teachers lounge to get to his class and seeing both Félix and Lila separated by two teachers with their arms crossed and not talking to anybody. 

—

Félix gets reprimanded, he’s warned not to use force on any students in this school whether they deserve it or not. Damocles is a bit loony with his owl obsession but he takes both his job and the students safety very seriously. 

Félix gets pictures taken of the inside of his elbows, the marks are going to be perfect little bruises by the end of the day and his mother’s going to be  _ upset _ if she sees them. The school promises it’s going to keep Rossi away from Félix in the future- separating the students who ‘didn’t mingle well’ by excluding them from being in the same class or the same club. Félix demands that they pull tape, get interviews, document exactly  _ why _ this had occurred and never let the deranged girl get close to any male student ever again. 

Félix hadn’t even known her  _ name _ until the art teacher had used it to separate them into different sides of the faculty room. 

Every eyewitness claimed that Félix did warn Rossi, asked her to unhand him, and told her to leave him alone, but the reason why both students got let off with a warning and Rossi wasn’t  _ suspended _ right now is that the little devil of a girl used the “I didn’t know it wasn’t Adrien” excuse. 

Bullshit. 

_ Bullshit _ . 

Félix returns halfway through the day, sitting down next to Claude with a thundercloud above his head and those shitty breathing exercises from the ‘stress relief’ classes they all had to do once a week after school. Claude wisely decides he likes living and doesn’t try to weddle a smile out of Félix, simply allows Félix to take studious notes and destroy a few pens. Allen offers his notes from the morning classes for Félix to copy during lunch, Allegra is, as always, a saint and handles all of the social aspects that class involves. 

By the time class gets out for the day and Félix can finally go home he almost forgets the whole reason he came to school early in the first place. 

Adrien just so happens to be waiting by the school entrance for his driver to pull up- it’s a heavy traffic day after all this rain- Félix walks up to speak with him. 

Félix doesn’t say much, just his name to grab his attention and hands Adrien a slip of paper in a very official looking envelope. 

Adrien opens it, reading the letter quickly. 

A smile- Adrien looks up at Félix with a grin that’s just  _ giving _ away the fact the boy who wears it is Chat Noir. 

“I’d be honored.” Adrien says, sincerely. “But I’ll be honest with you- I won’t have the time to be the president of it or anything.” 

Félix shrugs. “You only need a president and a treasurer, technically, and since I went through all the effort to make it actually official I think I should be the one to put ‘President of Book Club’ on my university application.” 

Félix holds out his hand, and the two shake on it. 

—

Chat Noir takes down the akuma with a well placed  _ whack! _ of his baton- the poor thing didn’t even stand a chance. 

It was another late night turn, somebody caught up in some heated argument at home turned into an akuma. It wasn’t hard to hear the bastard when he threw around heavy construction equipment (something about doing loud home renovation work after 7 pm?) so Adrien had gone out of his window and used the akuma’s own tendency for noise against it. The akuma never heard Chat Noir get close, so now Chat Noir’s standing over a knocked out akuma thirty seconds into a fight waiting for ladybug to show up. 

Sometimes it’s just how things worked out. 

There’s already a crowd of reporters gathered, Alya one of them, getting closer than normal to the akuma taking pictures with bright flashes and asking questions. Chat Noir ignores every question thrown his way, he’s not the only voice here and he’s not about to disrespect Ladybug by answering anything without her around to hear both sides of the conversation. He’s done that once and regretted it, he’s not going to do it again. The reporters inch closer, bypassing the imaginary safety ring that both Ladybug and Chat Noir have asked pariasians to keep from akumas- five meters. 

“Remember to keep your distance!” Chat Noir finally says, a stern reminder, “This akuma might be down now, but I can’t guarantee they’ll be down forever! Keep back!” 

The reporters take a step back, just  _ barely _ outside of the range. With a superhero there beside them civilians tend to feel rather brave. They, as crowds tend to do, inch closer again. Inside the requested five meters. 

“I’m asking everyone to maintain distance!” Chat Noir says again, giving pointed looks to a few of the braver ones,  _ Alya _ . “Please keep back!” 

Finally Chat Noir heads the  _ twp _ of magical wire being used as a repel, Ladybug’s about to show. She’ll cleanse the akuma and they’ll be on their way back home. Another few seconds, footsteps from a roof and-

“Please maintain distance!” Ladybug calls when she lands perfectly besides Chat Noir. The reporters back off again, but it won’t be long before they get brave enough to inch forward. 

To Chat Noir, in a much lower tone, Ladybug gives a bit of a laugh and says “That’s been a recent hot topic.” 

“What, the requested akuma distance?” Chat Noir hasn’t heard any grumbling about it on any forum. Was there strange discourse on Alya’s blog again? 

Ladybug goes a little red, “Ah! Sorry. Reminded me of something that happened today. A person didn’t keep their distance and paid dearly for it.” Ladybug’s smiling when she looks at Chat Noir, without looking to gently remove the glasses from the man’s face. 

Chat watches her call up her lucky charm, the yo-yo popping reds and pinks in her hand as it spits out something easy to return. 

She’s beautiful as she crushes the twisted metal glasses in her grip, releasing the black butterfly. 

With an expert flick of her wrist she captures and releases the thing, the white purified insect flying corkscrew drunk as it shambles away. Ladybug returns the world back to normal in a wash of that tingling red popping glow. 

The reporters rush in, but both superheroes are very good at rushing out. 

Chat Noir’s just a little stronger, just a little faster, just a tad bit more prone to showing off. Ladybug keeps up in her own straightforward fashion, she always keeps Chat Noir in her sights. 

Without one, the other won’t work.

Chat Noir’s wild recklessness, freedom and destruction and chaos are all wrapped into black bad luck package. He’s out of control in a way he can’t be as himself, barely constrained by a girl who doesn’t bother to leash him. Ladybug’s all about creation and order and forward thinking, she’s the only one who has any chance of meeting head to head with Chat Noir, as he is with her. They spin into the night for another moment more, reveling in the shared job well done for a minute of time. 

Ladybug eventually has to split off, she waves and gives Chat Noir a smile when she backflips that takes his breath away. She falls into the background by luck alone, her red suit not relying on the dark alcoves like Chat Noir does.

Adrien heads home, staring wistfully into the direction where his lady left for only a moment longer. 

—

It feels like no time has passed at all since Félix got sent to the offices when something goes wrong again. 

Félix is minding his own business during lunch, finished with his salad and halfway through the last chapter of his latest book. He’s hidden away on the roof again, nobody comes up to find him unless it’s a true emergency and people have evacuated to the relative safety of the high ground. 

It’s isolated and quiet, the perfect combination for Félix to enjoy himself for the hour and a half lunch period. It’s so isolated that Félix doesn’t even realize anything’s wrong until there’s suddenly a tiny black god shooting through his book. 

Félix doesn’t scream at the sudden appearance of Plagg, but he does instinctively slam the book when Plagg’s head bursts through. 

Plagg, unbothered by things that exist on the psychical plane, doesn’t mind the book. Plagg  _ does _ look furious however, mad in the way the void of blackness that surrounds his form sparks and spits a cold fire of venom. “ _ Child _ .” 

Félix hasn’t seen Plagg much, the gods preference tends to err on the side of hidden, a secret to everybody but Adrien. The voice that’s ageless and deeply echoing makes a chill run down Félix’s spine in the same way it did when they first encountered each other. 

“What’s happened?” Félix immediately is on high alert, slipping his book into his bag. 

“My chosens fallen to an akuma.” Plagg has the black ring in his tiny hands, the power pulsating in dripping malevolent energy. Plagg’s  _ furious _ in that twisted little way that no human could ever hope to achieve. “I need you to stop it, the  _ thing _ that’s stolen his face.” 

Félix’s mind flies to the worst case scenario, did something happen during lunch?  _ What _ happened during lunch that caused Adrien to die? Oh god is Adrien  _ dead? _ What managed to kill somebody so quietly that Félix hadn’t even heard a whisper of it? Did it  _ literally steal faces? _

His fear must show, because Plagg’s sparks go from righteous fury to a more simmered cold anger. “My chosen is alive, but  _ violated _ .” 

“Plagg I’m begging you,” Félix gingerly takes the black ring and in his hand it changes from the one Chat Noir wears to a tarnished silver infinity loop. “Cut the ‘mighty and powerful god’ act and  _ tell me what happened _ .” 

—

Marinette’s confused when she sees Adrien head from the locker room at a breakneck pace. 

He’s got a strange look on his face, he seems out of place in his own skin and jumpy at the way he walks so confidently to the classroom. Somethings wrong with Adrien, Marinette’s  _ sure _ it has something to do with Lila and her lies. They’ve finally had it with her today, both Marinette and Adrien had asked her to cut it out and be truthful to the class. 

She hadn’t taken that very well at all. 

Marinette’s not over the close call, her heart beating hard in her chest at the adrenaline still pumping through her system. The akuma has fluttered so close to her, taking soft jabs at trying to turn Marinette into a victim of Papillon. She had barely escaped with her dignity, Tikki sits close to her scalp now hidden in a pigtail as a comforting weight and reminder that Marinette was okay. She was fine. 

She follows Adrien to the classroom, getting ready to go back to her relocated seat when things start to happen. 

And boy do they happen fast. 

There’s words thrown, terrible nasty words thrown. Nino’s about to cry and Alya’s about to fight, Marinette’s confused. 

The whole situation goes down fast, within a minute. 

The rest of the class is aghast, nobody’s heard Adrien talk like this before. 

It’s horrible and mean and  _ rude.  _

It gets even worse when the door bursts open, standing tall and with a vengeance is  _ Félix _ of all people. 

If this is a sick joke then Marinette’s going to actually be an akuma today. Her name’s going to be a shitty pun and her costumes going to be horrible and she’s going to immediately hand her earrings over to Papillon and there’s going to be no hope for- 

Félix strides over to Adrien. 

They look at each other right in the eye. Adrien with a nasty smile and Félix with a pronounced grimace. 

Adrien cocks his hip in a fashion Marinette’s never seen before, opens his mouth and says “Hello  _ bro _ -“ 

Félix punches Adrien square in the jaw. 

Adrien goes down, and the rest of the class goes  _ up _ with a shocked cry. 

Félix is a mean kind of guy, he’s snarky and quick with his wits but Marinette’s never seen him actually follow a man to the floor to keep hitting him. Félix usually  _ never _ lays a hand on somebody, but Adrien’s been caught totally off guard and Félix is a fast asshole with fury on his side. 

“What are you  _ doing?!”  _ Alya’s voice is pitched high and she’s fumbling with her phone to record. 

God what must Alya think of Félix after this whole debacle? Marinette’s got to talk to Alya and tell her this years been a bit of an outlier- 

Nino does something unexpected and physically vaults over the desk with a scream. Nino tries to knock Félix off Adrien but Félix is a man on a mission and deftly dodges Nino with an upper body move that looks like it might hurt. That’s what several years of dance will allow you, Marinette thinks. 

Félix continues to punch the everliving shit out of Adrien’s face. 

Nino’s trying to pull Félix off of Adrien, Adriens trying to protect his face and screaming, Alya’s recording the whole thing while hollering about getting expelled for fighting. Alix and Kim are up on their desks, actually encouraging the fight, Mylène is crying, Ivan’s trying to comfort her. Sabrina’s texting Chloé who isn’t here and Max is trying to calm down people he can reach. 

Marinette’s out of her own mind, the shock must have set in. She just sees a disturbingly down and dirty fight, with nails and teeth and hair pulling. 

What does it say that Félix attacks a mirror of his own face with such a vitriol?  _ Does _ that say something philosophically deeper about him? 

Probably. 

Marinette also sees the glimmer of a ring she’s never noticed before this moment gracing Félix’s middle finger on his right hand. It’s low profile and sleek and she can’t make out anything other than a brief glance before Félix throws another hit down and tries to break Adrien’s nose. 

She’s only known one other boy to wear a ring on their middle finger like that- but- she doesn’t- does Félix have-?

Somebody, from somewhere, manages to get a muddled panicked sentence through the haze that Marinette’s looking through- “It’s an akuma!” 

Nino’s trying his best to pull Félix off, and Alya’s still screaming, but Marinette’s brain finally kicks into gear and she  _ moves.  _

She’s just barely got her hands on Félix’s shoulders, ready to help Nino yank off a feral Félix when the door gets thrown open  _ again.  _

Claude’s there, out of breath, with Allen and between them they’re holding somebody who’s completely limp. Allen looks panicked and Claude is running on pure adrenaline, they try to push themselves through the rather crowded space right by the door and- “Akuma!” Claude screams to the class, “Akuma!” 

That’s  _ Adrien _ , hanging between them limp. 

“It’s an akuma!” Claude hollars, readjusting his grip as he tries to get to the front of the classroom. “That’s not the real Adrien!” 

Félix cracks his knuckles against Adrien’s( _? _ ) nose, the breaking sound is audible. 

Marinette doesn’t know which is which, who is is, or even if Félix hasn’t lost his damn mind. It’s clearly something to do with Paris’s local terrorist, and if it’s something to do with that pain in the ass then it’s Marinette’s problem to solve. 

First item on the list, figure out who’s the real Adrien in this situation. 

“Everyone who’s not close to Adrien, leave!” Marinette’s voice carries above the sound of a solid beating, she’s looking at her classmates who normally spend very little time with the blond model. “Get a teacher and sound the alarm!” 

Nathaniel's the first to leave, he simply picks up his sketchbook without blinking his eye or halting his line and strides right out of the backdoor of the classroom. Ivan follows, picking up Mylène and bodily protecting Alix and Max as the smaller students make a dash for it. Kim helps Rose and her girlfriend get out safely. 

The only ones who stay are Marinette herself (of course!), Alya who’s ecstatic to be capturing this all on film, Nino who’s confusion is palpable and Sabrina who’s got a FaceTime call with Chloé already ringing. 

Claude and Allen help their shared burden to the floor, as gentle as two teenage boys can be, before they also take off. “We’d love to help but I don’t want to be here when the backlash happens-“ Allen explains as he’s actually already halfway out the main door. 

“Which one has the item?” Marinette’s already looking over the Adrien that’s passed out on the floor, she’d feel bad about rifling through the man’s pockets  _ later _ . “There’s  _ always _ an item.” 

Félix doesn’t stop his assault, fully keeping the Adrien that is awake  _ otherwise occupied _ . The Adrien that’s on the floor is spitting both insults and blood, vile nasty words that spew off horrible images, there’s a fleeting attempt at defense, but the Adrien on the floor is basically pinned by Félix’s knees. The only real movement the boy can do is lash his legs out trying to get traction to throw Félix off. 

Nino takes some initiative and sits on Adrien’s shins, “Sorry about this bro!” He says and begins to rifle through Adrien’s pockets trying to find the akumatized item. 

Alya’s live commentating, her phone broadcasting live this horrible day to all of the world to bear witness too. 

Sabrina finally gets Chloé to answer, “Chloé there’s a situation at school-“ The akuma sirens go off, loud and echoing across the streets of daytime Paris. Chloé  _ has _ to hear them. “- You’ve been friends with Adrien for a long time and we need to know if you can tell them apart-“ 

Marinette can’t find anything in the pockets, so she moves on. No necklaces, no earrings- even though this Adrien’s ears are triple pierced- nothing in his hair and no bracelets or rings. No article of clothing seems to be infected either, there’s nothing to suggest that this one is the akuma. 

“Nothing in his pockets!” Nino says, mostly to himself but to also alert the room at large. 

Shit there goes that theory, if the one that’s awake and spitting insults isn’t the akuma then what is- 

“There!” Chloé’s tinny voice blares through Sabrina’s speakers. “The Adrien on the ground doesn’t have his ring!” 

“Both are on the ground!” Nino says back, focused now on holding the thrashing legs down. 

Suddenly, it all makes  _ sense _ . 

“Sabrina, thank you for calling Chloé and helping! I’ve figured it out!” Marinette grabs a hold of sleeping Adrien’s hand, inspecting the ring finger a little more. 

Sabrina nearly vaults over everyone to get out of the room, hearing the thanks as a cue to leaving the dangerous space. 

Holding the sleeping Adrien’s hand, Marinette can see the faint tan line that denotes where a ring is meant to be. That kind of detail is rarely evident in an akuma, but it’s perfectly reasonable for a victim’s precious items to be stolen. Marinette leaves Adrien carefully, putting his hand back to rest on his stomach, before flipping around to the brutal assault. 

Félix is getting tired, he can’t keep this up forever. Marinette can see the sweat that’s building up on his hairline and the exertion that’s being put into each swing. He hasn’t stopped being on the offense once since he tackled the akuma to the ground- for a civilian that’s  _ incredibly  _ impressive. 

A civilian with blonde hair and green eyes and a protective streak miles long that just so happens to wear a ring the exact way a certain backup superhero might have- but that theory gets pushed to the very  _ back _ of Marinette’s mind for the moment. 

“It’s in the ring Félix!” She says to him, lunging to help Félix pin the arms of the flailing akuma. “Grab the ring!” 

“I’m- not- getting- akumatized!” Félix says back, each word emphasized by using his grip on Adrien’s hair to slam the akumas head into the floor. 

Marinette can’t fault him for that logic, so plan B! 

She has to somehow get the akuma tied down, ready for her to ‘escape’ and call Ladybug to deal with it safely. There’s limited options in a classroom on ways to tie people up, because it’s a  _ classroom _ . There’s no rope, nothing strong enough to hold a normal human let alone an Akuma. 

Nothing in the classroom so Marinette turns to her own person. 

It takes a second, she scans her top, her capris, her shoes- 

“Shoelaces!” Marinette reaches for her shoes with a speed that she’s never managed to obtain outside of superheroing- her clumsy fingers tear at her laces to undo them. 

It takes almost fifteen seconds to unlace her own shoe, the shoelace is about a meter and sure it’s not exactly a magical metal wire but it’s the best she can do at the moment. She waits till Félix has the Akuma fully stretched out pinned (ignoring the words that spill from its lips, if she listens for even a moment she knows she’ll falter) and begins to wind the laces against its wrists. 

The akuma is trying to twist its face close to Félix, gnashing it’s teeth, but Félix hasn’t been a dancer for his whole life for nothing- he’s able to keep his stomach away balancing on his knees and hands. 

Marinette ties the laces as tight as she can, lacing them one right after the other against wrists that are held steady by Félix’s hands. The lacings reminisce of secure stitching, Marinette’s not a sailor but she does fall back onto her strongest sewing pattern. It has to hold. It  _ has _ to. 

_ Where _ was Chat Noir? He’s got to hear the sirens, is he unsure where the akuma is? 

It’s pretty hard to tell when it’s being kept under control like this. 

“I have it’s legs dude!” Nino says from behind Félix, Marinette has to lean around Félix to see and- well would you look at that. Nino used his leather belt to tie the knees together, looping the thing three times around the akuma’s knees before securing it. 

“We need to get out to let Ladybug and Chat Noir know where the akuma is.” Marinette says to Nino, trying to convey with her eyes how important this task was. “Alya’s not going to leave-“ 

“You are  _ so _ right about that.” Alya agrees from her position on a desk. 

“- and if Félix let’s go, the akuma might break out, so Nino and I have to make a break for it.” 

Félix grunts, before another sharp attacking movement. 

“I’m not leaving without Adrien.” Nino says, looking at his best friend who’s still unconscious against the floor. “I don’t care if he’s already affected, he could get hurt if this goes bad.” 

Marinette doesn’t even think about it. “We’ll grab him and get out on three, ready?” 

Nino nods, bracing himself. 

The countdowns called, and Marinette scrambled upright and to Adrien. Nino’s right behind her. 

Nino grabs Adrien’s legs, Marinette grabs his shoulders, and they heave him upwards. 

Félix puts in renewed effort to keep the thrashing akuma down, focused all on pinning now instead of an assault. The bindings hold but Marinette can  _ see _ the strain, she can  _ hear _ the whining of leather as it stretches and twists. 

Alya jumps down from the desk and takes Nino’s precious place at the akuma’s knees. Her phone is propped up and still live streaming to her blog, catching all of the action. 

Marinette and Nino haul an unconscious Adrien out the door, trying to put space between them and the angry as hell akuma. 

—

Félix is getting very tired. 

His arms scream at him, they burn everytime he forces Lila down again. He can’t let her kiss any part of him- Plagg said that was how she surprised Adrien- so he’s precariously balanced not to get near her face all while placing his whole weight on her joints so she can’t move. Plagg’s helping, he’s doing  _ something _ that affects the luck of whoever he happens to be touching. It’s real bad luck on Lila’s part that she continuously can’t manage to find enough traction to throw Félix off, no matter how hard she bucks and twists and spits. 

She’s been just screaming profanities for the last two minutes, mostly telling Félix that she hopes he dies in various horrible ways, but the only thought that Félix can think about is how this can’t be any good for Adrien’s image. 

It’s funny. 

Félix can’t do anything but listen to what the rest of the world can watch on a very popular blog, in either real time or at any time an hour after the fight once Alya’s edited it. It’s Adrien’s face, and voice, but those are definitely not Adrien’s words. 

Alya’s trying her best behind him to keep Lila’s legs down, but she weighs less than her boyfriend and Lila is definitely trying her best to kick Alya in the face. 

Where the  _ fuck _ was Ladybug? The sirens have been going off for almost twenty minutes now- it’s not hard to follow the source to the school. 

The sirens had been designed in such a way that the source of the call had a distinct signature of three short staccato pulses and one long drawl. Every siren not in the immediate sighting area just had three long drawls that looped and echoed as they alerted the general public to magical terrorism. If no akuma was sighted in the area after a few minutes then all sirens turned to the general alarm, a huge network of people were dedicated to the upkeep and operation of the warning system. It’s the earliest and longest lasting system available- there’s talk about adding an in built emergency notification on everyone’s phone as well. 

The best part about it was that the miraculous cure automatically switched the sirens off- returning the state of Paris back to the way it was before the attack. 

The sirens usually lead Ladybug right to the location of the attack, and they were loud and operational, so  _ why wasn’t she here yet? _

He knows where Adrien is, so by default knows why Chat Noir can’t be here, but in this moment it would have been  _ awesome _ to be able to call up Ladybug on her cell and very casually demand her to  _ get her ass in gear.  _

At least one of them are having a good time, Alya’s nervously chatting behind him low under her breath about how this footage is going to be a  _ hit _ . Alya’s been sacrificed for the line of fire footage before- she’s one of the people who can claim multiple deaths to various akuma’s due to her headstrong  _ want _ to get the shots she wants. She stops her mumbling only when Lila kicks up and knees her in the ribs, breaking them. 

Félix winces as Lila throws her weight again, crushing his fingers under the force of the movement. He’s got broken knuckles, for sure, and he’s running on adrenaline and spite at this point. The fight had hurt him, he’s not going to be standing up anytime soon because Lila had gotten in a super powered kick to his ankle before they had gone down and Félix couldn’t move anything below the knee on that side anymore. His wrist is twisted, his shoulder is so close to dislocated that it’s only one good flail away from giving out completely. He’s not going to last forever. 

That’s why he needs Ladybug and he needs her  _ now _ . 

Alya gets kicked again, the air being punched from her lungs. She gives a weak little cry of pain before she takes a shaking breath. “How the hell-“ movement behind him, she’s readjusting, “-have you held on this long?” 

“ _ Spite _ .” Félix growls through his own pain. 

Alya laughs without any air in her lungs. 

The shoelace that’s wrapped around Lila’s wrists frays just a little bit more. Félix presses down a little harder, ignoring the pain in his knuckles. 

Lila surges up once more, trying to get at Félix to change into a facade of him, and Félix feels his shoulder finally popping, giving way under the strain of trying to hold down a feral force of nature. 

Landing on his elbow, Félix crushes Lila’s windpipe as he falls. She’s  _ centimeters _ away from managing to get a kiss off. 

Fuck. Fuck.  _ Fuck.  _

Ladybug finally makes her entrance. 

She snaps through the window, more dramatic than she really needs to be, and before she even makes it to the ground Alya’s shouting out the location of the suspected item of power. 

Ladybug acts quickly, with superhero speed and dexterity she wraps that wire yo-yo around Lila’s stolen form, focusing on securing Lila’s arms and upper torso. 

“Don’t let her kiss you.” Félix says, breathless. “It’s her power, she’ll steal your face and make you fall asleep.” 

With that advice, Félix finally allows himself to teter over and fall limp to the side. He uses what strength he has left to push himself away, Alya coming to help him after she too jumps away. 

Alya’s ribs have to be at least fractured, but she still hooks her hands under Félix’s shoulders and drag him away from where Ladybug gets to work, over the glass that’s shattered to the ground. 

They settle by the teachers desk, Félix on the floor and Alya using it as support. They watch Ladybug wrap up the akuma a little tighter, calling up lucky charm to snag herself an item. 

She yanks the ring from Lila’s hand, listening to Lila spit vile words at everyone, and then proceeds to crush the metal in her hands. 

The ring turns dark, before an angry black butterfly tries to get away. 

Félix’s vision is hazy, in and out, before he finally gives into his exhaustion just as the restoring light begins to pop up. 

—

Alya’s first thought is to check that her ribs are okay. After a quick stretch she determined that they are. 

Her second thought is to make a grab for her phone. 

She moves past the now purified akuma- Lila. Past Ladybug, and grabs her phone from the desk where it’s been popped up. She focuses on the scene, taking in the sight of Lila looking  _ furious _ on the floor, Ladybug looking irritated, and Félix who is propped up against the teacher's desk dead to the world. 

“Lila, you can’t let people calling you out on your lies make you angry enough for an akuma to come after you.” Ladybug explains, her arms crossed and her hip cocked. “You could have really hurt somebody if Félix didn’t realize you were an akuma and not actually Adrien.” 

“I’m so sorry!” Lila bats her eyelashes, already wet with tears. “Oh I’m-? I didn’t even realize-?” She’s thinking, calculating, Alya checks the chat for a second to see it blowing up. 

“Lila, I’m telling you right now you don’t need to lie about knowing me to make friends-“ Ladybug’s voice is painfully patient but Alya hears the frustration in her tone. This is  _ fantastic  _ media. It’s also  _ enlightening _ . “-if you claim to be friends with me it could put a huge target on both you and your family, you’d be constantly harassed by Papillon and I would have to work overtime trying to keep you safe.” 

Ladybug turns to Alya, to her camera where half of France was watching, “Please don’t claim to know Chat Noir or I. You’re not only lying to your friends you’re also putting everyone you care for into a position you could get hurt in. Chat Noir and I don’t interact with any civilians when we wear our masks- we fight Akuma’s and then we  _ leave _ . Chat Noir and I only exist for one purpose, and it’s to keep citizens  _ safe _ .” 

Ladybug’s earring beeps. She nods to the camera, nods to Félix’s asleep form, and takes another breath. 

“Do not attempt what that young man did today. He was very brave and he was very lucky. He engaged the akuma and only managed to hold it as long as he did through a mixture of quick thinking and great injury to himself. Please, if you spot an akuma sound the alarm and let Chat Noir or I handle it.” 

With that, Ladybug leaves. 

Lila gets up from the floor and creeps away, her face red with humiliation. Alya turns her camera around, giving the customary sign off before closing the livestream. 

She walks over to Félix, nudging him with her foot. 

“Get up dude.” She says, nudging a little harder. “It’s over. You did it.” 

Félix groans. Rolling his shoulders before opening his eyes. “Please let me sleep.” 

“Nope. It’s over. Get up. You need to get to class.” 

“Fuck.” Félix rubs his eyes and slowly begins to get up. There’s none of his usual grace in his movements. He’s worn out and tired. Alya doesn’t blame him. She’d be the same way after going toe to toe with an Akuma, she’s woken up after an akuma battle with no life in her before, just wanting to go to bed and not get up for a week. 

Alya offers a hand, Félix takes it. 

Alya notices a very interesting ring that graces his middle finger. Simple and tarnished silver. 

He meanders off on his way, shuffling through the classroom door and into the hall. 

Alya watches him disappear, turning a corner and vanishing from her line of sight. 

She settles at her desk, reaching into her bag for her tablet. 

There’s work to be done on the LadyBlog. 

—

Félix just wants to go  _ home _ . He’s been bothered all day at school today and people have been coming up out of the woodworks to ask him how he managed to subdue an akuma. Félix didn't answer any of them. He didn’t look at his phone either, the notifications buzzing non-stop since the attack ended. He had passed off the ring back to Plagg immediately after the attack, telling the little bastard to run back to Adrien. 

Claude’s been weirdly supportive and proud, he’s also been a great help to keep people out of Félix’s personal space. Claude’s a good guy like that, he’s fielding questions like a pro. Allen’s one of the moderators on Alya’s blog- he asked early on during the first few fights against Papillon and now he’s able to moderate comments- so he’s been deleting anything that mentions Félix’s real full name or any other identifying personal information. Allegra’s the nicest personal bodyguard that anybody’s ever seen, she’s quick to put herself in the path of people who aren’t in their class and even quicker to act like the confused foreign exchange student when people tried to get by her. 

Félix almost makes it out of school,  _ almost _ , without anybody accosting him. 

He crosses the street to get to his train station, walking with a sizable crowd, when he feels a small hand on his elbow. 

It’s not holding him, but it  _ is _ asking him to stop. 

Félix turns to see who’s got a hold on his sleeve and- 

It’s Marinette. 

Surprise there. Félix was under the impression that Marinette didn’t like him. So he pulls his arm away from her and crosses them, giving her a raised eyebrow. 

She takes that as her cue to talk. “I wanted to say thank you.” She gets out in a rush of breath, tumbled together like they’re both eleven again. “You did something very brave today.” 

“I did something spiteful.” He corrects her. “Adrien and I are friends, Lila kissed him without permission and shoved him in a locker after stealing his face.” 

Marinette nods to that, like the level of violence shown was in perfect retaliation against actions done. “I still wanted to say thanks, whether your actions were spiteful or brave or any other thing. I wasn’t having a great day and you made it way better.”

Félix sorta doubts that. It’s not a secret in the school that Marinette has a huge crush on Adrien, so seeing Félix just beat the shit out of an akuma that looked like him must not have been very joy inducing. 

“Oh! I’m sorry I must be keeping you from your family.” Marinette turns away, to her parents bakery. “Do you want something to snack on as a thank you treat?” 

“That’s not a very good business practice.” Félix narrows his eyes, what’s going on here. 

Marinette sighs, for a brief second she looks almost as tired as Félix feels, and turns back to her schoolmate. “I should have been the one akumatized today. The butterfly was for me. I managed to avoid it, and thought it had gone for good. I didn’t know Lila had taken it and was impersonating Adrien.” 

Well. That’s. 

_ Well _ . 

“I would like to offer you a thank you pastry for dealing with the akuma I couldn’t.” Marinette’s got a fire in her eyes now. 

Félix can’t refuse. He’d feel like garbage. 

“Sure. Okay. Lead on.” 

The two push through the after work crowd and Marinette goes behind the counter. She greets both her parents before explaining the situation as briefly as she can. They seem like nice enough people, they tell Marinette to grab what she wants and go back to serving the long line of customers. 

“How many people in your family?” Marinette asks, delicately opening a pink box with the bakery’s logo on it. “I’m going to give you something for everyone.” 

“You don’t have too-“ 

“Don’t undermine my gratitude.” Marinette cuts Félix off. “Tell me how many people you have at home.” 

Félix presses his lips together. “My mother and I. That’s it.” 

Marinette reaches for the decorated cupcakes. She hums under her breath a little. “Really? I could have sworn you had a brother?” 

What was it with people thinking he had a sibling lately? Goodness. 

“No siblings.” Félix corrects Marinette as she reaches for another confectionary. “I’m an only child.” 

“Weird. I wonder why I thought that you had a brother. Divorced dad has another kid?” 

“What is this? Twenty questions?” Félix holds out his hands for the box of cupcakes that Marinette passes over. 

Marinette takes a good glance at his fingers, inspecting his hands twice apiece. She clearly doesn’t find what she wanted, because her little frown gives her away. 

“I was just wondering.” She mumbles. “I could have sworn, but I guess I’m wrong.” 

“I don’t know who you're confusing me with,” Félix feels like he needs to end this line of questioning right now. “But my father is dead. There’s  _ no _ sibling. I can promise you.” 

Oh. That made Marinette go a very interesting shade of red. She looks totally away now, her expression shameful. “That’s on the house.” She mumbles all in one breath again. She turns and nearly flies up the stairs. 

Félix doesn’t mind. He’s gotten free cupcakes out of this encounter. His mother’s going to love them. She’s going to take his head off about the stunt he pulled today, but she’s going to be eating one of these free cupcakes while she smothered him in worry. 

Félix leaves the bakery, head down, and begins his trek home. 


	4. lets scam the fucking rich, I'm in if youre in loser- oh god your upset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ba-ba-bah, i'm vibing, ba-bah-ba, if it doesn't make sense im sorry im so fried lmao. love you all

Gabriel Agreste knows of his child’s friend, the boy with the same face. 

Gabriel can’t  _ not _ know of him, the boy’s been in pretty constant contact with his legal team since Adrien’s debut into the fashion world- into the public eye. Graham de Vanily was a good enough kid, quiet and unobtrusive for the most part, refusing to take interviews and not abusing his appearance and close resemblance to Adrien. 

It’s only the recent media interaction that’s pulled Gabriel’s attention to the boy- Natalie has pulled the whole footage of the horrendous akumatization of Mme. Rossi and how Graham de Vanily had fought back viciously for a prolonged period of time. Gabriel had been intrigued, interested, and filled to the brim with ideas and questions for the strange kid. 

He’s going to make sure that this  _ Lila _ character never gets another akuma under her belt, the girl was given a great power more than once and failed specaturaltly with both attempts. 

Gabriel has kept an eye on the school for a long time now- most teenagers have serious emotional rollercoastering during the day, the stronger the emotion the stronger the sway of his miraculous. It was easier to pin down children’s generally excitable nature with a simple butterfly than it was to snag a more stable adult. Adrien, his wife’s greatest creation, was never going to be a target- Gabriel Agreste couldn’t if he wanted to- but there was easy deniability if others around him became targets. 

Graham de Vanily could be used. 

In so many ways. 

Every celebrity needed a stunt double, and maybe Gabriel can ask if M. Graham de Vanily wanted a little extra money on the side if he could keep a good eye on his son during the day. 

—

“I want you to know-“ Adrien has placed a hand on Félix’s shoulder, “-I’m very sorry for what’s about to happen.” 

Félix freezes, and goes still as a statue underneath Adrien’s warm hand. 

“Oh it’s nothing dramatic, don’t be like that.” Adrien removes his hand from Felix’s shoulder and wiggles his right ring finger as he takes his hand back to his side. “I just need you to cover my duties as book club Vice President this weekend. I’m going out of town.” 

“ _ Ominous _ .” 

“It doesn’t have to be, pessimist.” 

The two of them are sitting against a wall in double period gym, side by side on the polished concrete floor as they watch a chaotic four square championship happen. Adrien had opted to sit out the semi-finals, allowing a few others to take his place, while Félix wasn’t even bothering to pretend to participate. 

The two boys were slightly separated from the cheering crowds, looking down from the upper courtyard at the battle that reigns below them. Alya and Marinette’s game has been going on for almost thirty minutes, the ball has slid marks from where it hit the ground so fast. 

“My father’s set up a three day shoot in Berlin, something about authenticity or something, and I’m not going to be able to make it if anything happens here.” 

Félix considers this, presses his lips together in thought and hums low in his throat. “You can’t get out of this commitment?” 

Adrien sighs a big gust of air, “I’ve tried. No avail.” 

“Why tell me now?” 

“I’m leaving in about twenty minutes.” 

Félix hums again, looking out across the classroom at his loud schoolmates. He sighs, then holds out his hand. “Fine. It’s normally just one attack on the weekends anyway.” 

“You’re the best,  _ Bro.”  _

_ “ _ I will ruin Chat Noir’s image.” 

“You wouldn’t  _ dare _ .” 

Adrien looks so positive, a bundle of sunshine with a little closemouthed smile. Félix just wants to go to sleep for about twenty hours and maybe get some homework done, he’s not wanting to be bothered with trying to be a substitute. Félix considers it seriously, ruining Chat Noir’s image, but there’s nothing to be gained from something like that. 

Félix holds out his hand. 

Adrien’s smile gets a little softer, a little more real, and he passes his ring over with a quick movement. 

\--

The Akuma alarm goes off, both the sirens and the new implemented phone alert. It’s almost the edge of bedtime for most parisians, so this was just pure unwelcome. Félix groans as he cracks open his eye to look at his phone. This is  _ bullshit _ , eugh. Why can’t Paris’s supervillain slash terrorist go to bed at a normal hour like the rest of them. 

Félix flips his blanket up a little higher over his head, snuggles down into his grey comforter a little harder. 

“ _ Boy! _ ” A voice screeches from around Félix’s belly button. 

That rockets Félix awake, his hindbrain telling him something dangerous is  _ very _ close to his soft spots. He actually manages to fall out of his own bed, taking both himself and blankets to the floor. “What the  _ fuc-”  _

“I can’t believe that my charge left me with you, of all people.” 

Now that Félix is very much awake and aware, it’s easy to see that the voice is coming from Plagg, who had cuddled underneath the blankets to gain some kind of warmth in Félix’s otherwise cold house. His bedroom happens to be the coldest it gets, with a drafty window facing a wind tunnel of an alley and his neighbors across in the other building. His room is neat, tidy, filled with soft blues, navy’s, and greys. It looks distorted with the strange light of almost dark, intermingled with staticky lighting a few roads over that  _ must _ be the akuma. 

The alarm was going off, telling people to stay in their homes and hunker down if at all possible, but Félix has just been reminded that he has a rather unfortunate job to do. 

“You ready to fight, kid?” Plagg asks, an undercurrent of something that might have been genuine underneath scathing sarcasm. 

“This had better be worth it,  _ transforme-moi _ .”

The wash of power over him hits the same as it did the first time that Félix had done this, sharp and biting with an edge of something much darker than a normal human should be able to handle in doses as large as this. It’s something that slams through his insides, grabbing onto and twisting hard in a sharp contraction of both addictive power and endless nothingness. Félix has to shake out his limbs, there's a lingering sense of  _ wrong _ that sinks into his bones the same as last time and it feels like bad luck’s a tangible thing and has breathed itself into a space inside of him. 

Félix asked Adrien about it once, if he felt the same way after the mask went on. Adrien had shrugged, nonchalance about it, but never answered the question directly. 

Félix- or, more accurately Cat Sìth now that he’s suited up- cracks his window and begins his trek into the night.

\--

Marinette’s had a good day so far, but it just got a lot worse when during her sleepover with the girls in her class the akuma alarm went off. There’s a  _ lot _ of fast talking and quick turns, trying to make it seem like a casual thing to be lost by her classmates. It takes Marinette an extra thirty minutes to get to the actual fight. 

Her day gets worse when she finally  _ does _ get to the fight and spots Chat Noir a little ways away and makes her way to him. She greets him by landing at his right, smoothly moving right up against his side to look at the scene with him. He moves away, leaning awkwardly to create room between them, while saying “I’m using one of my nine lives right now, Mme. Bug.” 

_ Fuck _ .    
  
That’s the line that Cat Sìth delivers when he’s the one behind the mask. 

This isn’t her partner, this is a  _ substitute _ . Cat Sìth is a perfect lookalike, an identical shine to the original Chat Noir, but beside the  _ image _ of the other half of Paris’s superhero duo there’s nothing of the real fighting substance that Chat Noir can bring to the table during a show down. Cat Sìth can dodge, jump around and manage not to get himself injured long enough for Ladybug not to worry about him- but Cat Sìth doesn’t pull his weight like Cat Noir does, doesn’t haul up akuma’s by their shoulders and take hits hard while getting back up again. Cat Sìth will dodge the hard hitting slammers well enough but he’ll never take a hit for Ladybug like Chat does. 

Marinette wants to scream, but she doesn’t. “Why are you out tonight?” 

She can’t make direct accusations, who knows who’s watching after all, but she can hint with a heavy hand at what she wants to know. 

“I’m out tonight to help you, Mme.” Cat Sìth responds with the same ease that Chat Noir always does, but it’s not the same playful teasing tone. “My nine lives sometimes have to be elsewhere, maybe somewhere nice this time of year, Germany maybe.” 

Marinette is going to  _ kill _ Noir when he comes back. He left the country? Without telling her? What the  _ shit _ !? 

“Unexpected.” Cat Sìth must see something on her face because he’s quick to soothe. “Last minute and without any real forewarning.” 

“ _ Great _ .” Marinette feels the exasperation in her soul, because how does one just  _ leave _ the country without any forewarning? “Alright. Okay. Let's  _ do  _ this.” 

\--

The akuma tonight is pretty mild, nothing crazy, but Alya still keeps her camera on the two superheroes’ superhuman agility. They’re mesmerizing to watch in the air, with the twisting and turning and blurry features that can’t be sorted no matter how long you look at them. 

It’s a twist of magic, or something Alya can’t understand fully yet, that everybody sort of agreed on general hair color and build, but nobody could pinpoint  _ exactly _ what each superhero looked like. Chat Noir’s hair was either a light white blonde or a dirty almost brunette but was mostly agreed to be blonde of some kind with a slimmer long stretched build while Ladybug was a darker haired girl who was shorter and softer than Chat Noir. The forums were a fun place to explore these kinds of theories, there was the everyday easy to access main Ladyblogger Forums and the much harder to gain a look-see-into the crazier and wilder theories that would only see the light of day if Alya somehow died in her sleep. There’s all kinds of fun things to throw around with a small ground of internet like-minded individuals. 

Now this fight isn’t anything special, but Alya’s videotaping it anyway, live-streaming it to anybody who’s awake right now. She’s just yawning instead of doing live commentary, because it’s that kind of night and the akuma’s not really making any noises she needs to talk over to make it more kid-friendly.

The akuma’s got some kind of weird goo attack, which sends everybody bouncing around at top speeds, but there’s no real  _ active _ danger outside of landing wrong. The akuma mostly avoids capture, bounding out of the way and laughing as Ladybug and Chat Noir try to make another grab at it. Ladybug’s yoyo is going nuts while hitting several angles, tangling up more often in the juts and curves of the architecture around them and not the akuma target. Chat Noir’s baton is faring a little better, with its rigid structure leaving it unable to bounce back. The akuma only stumbles once when they land hard on their left foot, wincing, before springing back with a giggle.

Ladybug calls out, “They’ve got a brace!”

The akuma screeches, tucking their weaker ankle behind their stronger leg. “Hey! Don’t go messing with that! It’s not sportsmanlike!” 

They bounce around some more, Alya keeps everyone in frame as much as she possibly can. She’s gotten pretty good at it, the movement is fluid as she tracks the battle. 

Chat Noir balances into a thin window frame, a place that hasn’t been covered in a glittery goo-slime, and braces his baton into his shoulder. Ladybug throws her own weapon, finally catching the akuma around one wrist. The akuma screeches again, just wordless this time, and begins to claw their way out of the wrapped around wire. 

Chat’s baton hits,  _ hard _ , right at the edge of the akuma’s achilles heel. It’s a total cheap shot, aimed with intention, and it incapacitates the akuma by  _ snapping _ the tendon. It goes right up and visibly disappears into the calf, Alya actually makes a little gagging noise at the back of her throat at the unnatural movement in the akuma’s leg.

_ Ouch _ . 

Holy shit Alya had never seen that move from Chat before, and now she has to play a little bit of damage control and put her head into the frame to cover up the akuma who’s now screeching in pain on the ground.  _ Vicious _ . Holy shit Alya has  _ never _ seen that happen to a real person before. The akuma gets purified fast, all while the victim is on the ground gasping soundless sobs in pain. 

The purification washes over everything that’s been affected, mostly the street and the poor late night walkers who got caught up in the slime. 

Alya gets the video of the akuma transforming back into a normal, regular person, healed from all damage and blinking the tears from their eye in confusion. They’ve got a brace on their left ankle, they appear to be able to stand when Ladybug helps them up and calms them down. 

Chat Noir hovers at the edge, still half hidden in the shadows of the late night environment. Alya keeps filming, it’s moments like this that humanize the superheroes. 

The victim goes on their way, thanking Ladybug and Chat Noir for saving them. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir head out, they both bound to the rooftops with ease, Alya keeps her phone on both till she can’t see either one anymore.

\--

There’s another akuma only six hours later, then another one after another four. 

Alya can’t keep up, she’s calling it a week and just sets out a general alert to her entire blog as she lays down. 

Marientte can’t either, she’s ready to collapse where she stands as she tries to get the most rest she can.

Félix is going to actually kill Papillon with his own two hands. 

It’s high alert for Parisians, all the news stations in the world have cameras focused on the streets as deep purple butterflies flutter around nearly every residential and commercial gathering place. The fear just fuels the fire, the more panic that gets kicked up the more people turn into akuma’s. It’s a vicious cycle that’s never happened before, people are refusing to work, stores close down with the fourth akuma that runs rampant into the streets.

Internationally, people are whispering about pulling business from France, not buying products from companies that have their home there. It’s the only thing on every news program around the world, in every single language. Alya wakes up to her phone ringing off the hook as news asks if they can use her footage, she agrees for a portion of the profits and credit. It’s a hot topic, and people are scared. 

Félix’s mother is a little slip of a blonde woman who’s nervous enough already, with the downright  _ torrential _ pour of akumas onto the street she’s nearly having a heart attack trying to keep her son safe. She’s making it  _ really hard _ to Chat Noir, her eye is pretty constantly on Félix when he’s home, and if he goes out there better be a good excuse and his cellphone better have his location on at all times. She kisses his forehead when the sirens go off and asks Félix to  _ please _ stay safe. She’s- unintentionally- even made it impossible to get to a few akuma’s before Ladybug had taken care of them. She is a literature professor at a Université PSL so thankfully she can’t keep an eye out all the time for her son, however she makes sure he texts her everytime he leaves the house.

Félix works three jobs, all part time, one of them nice enough he’s thinking about quitting one of the others, he can’t just  _ miss _ a workday, but thank god his employers are nice enough to be understanding about this clusterfuck of a weekend. 

The time between akuma’s gets shorter, wearing out the two superheroes even faster. 

Félix sometimes finds it easier to just not even detransform. Showing Chat Noir’s face around Paris makes everyone feel better, safer, more secure and stable. Ladybug’s face was an even better deterrent against akuma’s than Chat Noir was. 

Félix was ready to give up entirely, he’s been texting Adrien this whole time and complaining, saying that Adrien better  _ never _ call up Félix’s help for this shit ever again. Adrien is just barely holding onto his own mind out in Germany, crawling out of his own skin wanting to help out instead he’s trapped in a photoshoot that wasn’t even  _ productive _ from the sounds of it. 

By the time Adrien gets back into France, there’s been a wipeout session of a total of  _ seventeen  _ akuma’s over the course of two days. 

Félix doesn’t even wait for school, he demands to meet Adrien  _ somewhere _ to give the fucking ring away again. Plagg is more than happy to escape from Félix, complaining constantly about the cold room and how his cheese isn’t as high quality and how Félix’s mother is constantly hovering carefully at his shoulder and how his  _ jobs _ get in the way of having a good time. Félix is ready to strangle the little god, he’s  _ got _ to give Plagg back. He’s  _ got _ to. 

Adrien’s wearing something tastefully fall, looking like a movie character in a warzone. Perfectly still just off a shoot and with a wistful eye that casts a glance around the abandoned streets of what should be a bustling city. There’s  _ nobody _ around, the place looks like the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse, the artificially cleaned out version of something fake. Félix’s got black bags under his eyes so large he’s got to check them at the airport. They meet up at a little cafe, both using the excuse of ‘ _ book club _ ’ to get here. 

Félix, wordlessly, yanks off the  [ tarnished silver infinity ring ](https://www.titaniumstyle.com/images/titanium-infinity-ring.jpg) and slams it down in front of him. 

“How bad was it?” Adrien asks, “I saw the news, and our class chat of course, but … how bad  _ was  _ it?” 

“ _ Never _ ask me to do that again.”

Adrien sighs, deep, and looks back down the totally empty streets. Even the waitress of the cafe is afraid to come outside for more than what’s required of her, there’s only one other person here and they are huddled up inside eating their lunch right beside the owners on the floor behind the counter hiding them all from view. Adrien takes the ring, it changes in his hands into something that’s very plain. Adrien pops off another placeholder ring of a similar design, just a single band, and slips Plagg’s ring into its place. Weight just slips off Adrien’s shoulders as the ring settles back into the divot it’s made into his finger. 

The food is nice enough, if rather hasty to be delivered and eaten. Félix bids Adrien  _ au revoir _ , and leaves to go sleep for as long as he can before school starts on Monday. 

\--

School’s buzzing with the topic of what could have happened that weekend. What could have blown up and made their resident terrorist just  _ go off  _ like that. 

Chloé is back, she’s got her hair pulled up and piled high into a tight bun on her head and she’s just  _ daring _ anybody to comment on her red rimmed eyes. Marinette doesn’t bother to comment, nobody does. Chloé has her own problems, she rarely makes things like this a huge deal, preferring to show off the more glamorous aspects of her days. Lila looks, for a second, ready to pick but she’s lost a lot of support over her last akumazitation so she doesn’t bother. 

It’s  _ Alya _ who decides to stir things up this average morning. She slides right into Marinette’s side and leans hard into her hand as she strikes a dramatic pose with a  _ huge _ smirk. It makes Marinette worried, this is an Alya who has a  _ juicy _ story ready and raring to go. Nino also looks a little nervous, leaning away from his girlfriend and glancing between her and Marinette. Alya does wait till Adrien walks in and takes his seat, looking more rested than the rest of the class combined. 

With everybody accounted and present for, Alya clears her throat and stands. “I have the  _ scoop of the century _ for everybody.” 

The class turns to her, curious. 

“I have, on  _ video _ , Chat Noir and Ladybug  _ fighting _ .” 

This gets some eyebrow raises, but nothing like Alya clearly wanted. Marinette has  _ no idea _ what Alya is talking about, she didn’t see Chat Noir nearly all weekend till the last final two akuma’s- Ladybug had nearly cried with relief at her real partner being back in the game. Alya huffs, “You people aren’t nearly as shocked as I expected you to be!” 

Rose hums, “We’ve seen them fight before though? Because of akuma’s powers.” 

“Oh! This wasn’t a physical fight my dear Rose!” Alya holds up her phone, showing a video paused with Ladybug and Chat Noir close huddled behind a turned over car, pulled as far as they possibly could be. From the single still image the body language portrayed by both people isn’t affectionate like it normally is, it isn’t even close to  _ friendly _ . “This was a lovers quarrel!” 

_ This _ gets the whole class up in arms, scrambling over one another to watch. Marinette can’t be bothered, she slips from her seat to not get trampled by the rest of the class. She knows that it’s her and Cat Sith just trying not to kill one another as a particularly annoying flying akuma was causing chaos. They hadn’t fought, so Marinette has  _ no _ idea what Alya is talking about. 

\--

_ Chat Noir pants as the fucking akuma drops another bomb, it’s targeting red cars specifically for whatever pent up reason so they had decided to give themselves a breather behind an overturned black one. Ladybug’s full sitting, not crouched like Chat Noir himself is, and she’s trying not to cry in exhaustion at the fifth akuma in as many hours. She’s strung out and tired and barely holding onto the transformation.  _

_ Chat Noir is the same, his hands shake so much that he’s just hardly holding onto his baton.  _

_ “Are they close to the ground yet?” Ladybug asks, her eyes closed.  _

_ “No.” Chat Noir replies, looking up for them both. “Not close.”  _

_ “I can’t curse, but I want to.” She says, soft enough that the camera only  _ barely _ gets the words. “Je ne peux pas maudire.”  _

_ Chat Noir doesn’t say anything, he’s got his eyes on the sky watching the movement of the akuma far above them.  _

_ The two sit almost two feet apart, not close at all, not comforting or even comfortable. It’s a sharp contrast to what these kinds of videos normally show, with each superhero getting into the others personal space so far they might as well just share. Chat Noir is totally ignoring Ladybug, and Ladybug is totally ignoring Chat Noir. There’s no camaraderie between them, just a pure business feel when the akuma swoops down from above them says something about how red cars represent the devil on the road and they stand without helping one another and dart into the fray.  _

\--

“O-M-G!” Rose gasps, hand flying to her mouth. “That’s terrible!’ 

Alya gestures with her whole body. “I know right!” 

Marinette can’t see how this, in any way, makes it a ‘fight’ between her and Chat Noir. The entire class has suddenly become relationship experts however because they’re all suddenly up in arms about what’s ruined the sweet love between their favourite superheroes. Adrien looks as confused as Marinette is, and she’s thankful that she’s got somebody sane on her side here- she knew she liked Adrien for a reason. 

The rest of the class is acting like the world is ending, but Marinette has told them before that Chat Noir and Ladybug weren’t dating. Ladybug and Chat Noir have come out in public- on television- and told everyone that they weren’t an item, but nobody seems to have believed them. 

The class is in the middle of having a mental breakdown over what essentially is nothing when their teacher walks in. 

\--

Félix barely gets out of class before Adrien is there, waiting for him. 

“Book Club stuff?” Félix asks, questioning. 

“Book Club stuff.” Adrien agrees. 

\--

After a serious meeting with Adrien about, apparently, making it so that Alya thought Chat Noir didn’t like Ladybug anymore (“ _ It was a really shaky video during an unprecedented akuma invasion, and I already know how to spin the topic discreetly when the next akuma shows, and I know I owe you a favor, but please can we not deal with this again?”) _ Félix walks out of school vaguely confused and with a few very nice german books as a thank you gift. Adrien had admitted that it was the dumbest thing to witness if you knew that Chat Noir happened to be Cat Sith in that instance but for people out of the know it was apparently devastating. 

Félix couldn't care less. He’s happy with his new armful of books and can’t wait to dive into them. 

He’s got to go to his job after dance class after school however, an extra hour in the day dedicated to fitness isn’t something to avoid. Félix enjoys classical ballet dancing the best, but they’ve been learning five-beat jazz recently, all Fosse hard jabs and curt turns with wrist motions and rolling shoulders. The gym has a shower to use after the teacher calls it for today, so Félix escapes to get clean and head to work. 

It’s a tailor shop, by the man who was at the fashion show about a month ago now. It pays well and Félix just is a shophand- no fashion involved, it's great. He greets the customers, makes appointments, tells the availability of the tailors, and keeps the shop organized. It also pays the same as both his other menial jobs combined. 

It’s while he’s working that a man comes in, tall with grey hair and a slick suit. Félix recognizes the man from  _ somewhere _ , he’s sure of it, but it’s nothing that Félix can’t just work through as a professional. The tall man has an assistant, a woman with a red streak in her hair. The couple walks around, talking between one another and inspecting the clothing and accessories around the store. Félix goes back to stocking the watches, inspecting each of them to make sure there’s no visible defects or blemishes. 

“Graham de Vanily?” 

The man’s voice pulls him from his reverie, and Félix perks up to pay attention to the customer. “Yes? How may I help you?” 

“My name is Gabriel Agreste, and I think I have a proposition for you.” 

\--

Adrien gets a phone call notification just as he gets out of his chinese lessons, waving his tutor out the door and thanking them for their time, he pulls out his phone from his bag and  _ instantly _ is worried. 

Félix never calls for anything less than incredible importance. Adrien can count the number of times Félix has called over text with one hand. Most of those calls have been over the weekend while Plagg had stolen Félix’s phone to talk to his favored miraculous holder.

Adrien answers. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, before anything else I’m letting you know I’m splitting this money with you.” 

Well,  _ that _ ’s terrifying. “Ominous!” Adrien says, spitting back Félix’s own words back at him. 

“Your dad is a psychopath.” Félix’s words are not making Adrien feel any better! 

“I’ve been told before. You and Nino are finally getting along, I take it?” 

Félix scoffs down the line, it sounds like he’s on the subway from the background noise. “I’ll get along with Lahiffe as soon as he admits that- Listen, I’ve called you to tell you that your father just asked me to spy on you for him.” 

Adrien’s blood goes  _ frozen  _ cold. He stiffens so much that Plagg perks to alertness from where he’s hidden in Adrien’s jacket. 

“I accepted, of course, for a monetary repercussion for such a feat.” Félix presses his phone closer to his mouth, it sounds like people are getting onto the train. “It’s absolutely enough money to live in style, your probably father has no idea what the price of a single banana is-” 

“He asked you-” Adrien’s voice cracks hard “-to  _ spy _ on me?” 

Félix goes silent on the other end of the line, there’s nothing but subway noise. 

“What- Excuse me.” Adrien pulls his phone away from his mouth and walks just a little faster to get to his room. 

When the door is closed, locked tight from the inside, Adrien pulls a shuddering breath as he puts the phone back to his ear. “My father asked you  _ what _ .”

Félix must realize that this is a delicate situation, because the flippant tone from earlier is gone when he responds. “Adrien, I’m going to ask you to seriously try and calm down- is Plagg there? Ask Plagg to calm you down. I told him I would but Adrien I’m just going to feed him lies and collect the money and split it with you.” 

Adrien doesn’t realize that he’s crying until wet hot tears hit his collar bone. 

“Adrien, deep breaths, shit are you panicking? I don’t know how to deal with tha-” Shuffling comes from the phone, but Adrien is barely paying any attention. Plagg is smushed against Adrien’s face, making soft purring noises and asking what's wrong? What’s happening? Adiren can’t believe this- his own father, his own  _ fucking _ father. 

Adrien cries, curled up against the door out of the view of the camera in his room and listens to both Plagg and Félix try to calm him down. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be uploaded as a series of completed one shots - if you have any idea for this au aka memes comment em


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